Doctors asking your children, away from the parents, on their "unapproved by the state" habits.

“The doctor wanted to know how much you and mom drink, and if I think it’s too much,” my daughter told us afterward, rolling her eyes in that exasperated 13-year-old way. “She asked if you two did drugs, or if there are drugs in the house.”

“What!” I yelped. “Who told her about my stasher, I mean, ‘It’s an outrage!’ ”

I turned to my wife. “You took her to the doctor. Why didn’t you say something?”

She couldn’t, she told me, because she knew nothing about it. All these questions were asked in private, without my wife’s knowledge or consent.

“The doctor wanted to know how we get along,” my daughter continued. Then she paused. “And if, well, Daddy, if you made me feel uncomfortable.”

Great. I send my daughter to the pediatrician to find out if she’s fit to play lacrosse, and the doctor spends her time trying to find out if her mom and I are drunk, drug-addicted sex criminals.

We’re not alone, either. Thanks to guidelines issued by the American Academy of Pediatrics and supported by the commonwealth, doctors across Massachusetts are interrogating our kids about mom and dad’s “bad” behavior.

We used to be proud parents. Now, thanks to the AAP, we’re “persons of interest.”

The paranoia over parents is so strong that the AAP encourages doctors to ignore “legal barriers and deference to parental involvement” and shake the children down for all the inside information they can get.

Congratulations to the people of Massachusetts.  You deserve this, because this is what you voted for.

VAJoe.com lets you take a quick questionnaire to see who your "ideal candidate" is.  For me it was the guy I haven’t heard of, California Rep Duncan Hunter.  The name sounds cool though, like someone in an action novel.  Of course its a complete tie between him and good ol’ Fred Thompson.

Former Tennessee Senator Fred Thompson (R) - 94.74%
Kansas Senator Sam Brownback (R) - 84.21%
Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney (R) - 84.21%
Colorado Representative Tom Tancredo (R) - 84.21%
Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee (R) - 78.95%
Businessman John Cox (R) - 73.68%
Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R) - 73.68%
Arizona Senator John McCain (R) - 73.68%
Texas Representative Ron Paul (R) - 63.16%
New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson (D) - 36.84%
Delaware Senator Joseph Biden (D) - 31.58%
Connecticut Senator Christopher Dodd (D) - 31.58%
Former North Carolina Senator John Edwards (D) - 31.58%
Former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel (D) - 31.58%
Illinois Senator Barack Obama (D) - 31.58%
New York Senator Hillary Clinton (D) - 26.32%
Ohio Representative Dennis Kucinich (D) - 10.53%

What freaks me the hell out is that I match more with the goober from Delaware than Clinton.  Or that Ron Paul didn’t rate a bit higher.  A well…

OJ Simpson is getting his fake Rolex watch back.

The timepiece, seized earlier this week by attorneys for Fred Goldman, was ordered returned to the former football star after it was determined to be a knockoff made in China.

via FOXNews.com

Not sure if it works on XP, but in Vista it does.  Open Notepad.  Do File / Open.  Type in a URL and hit OK.  It will give you the source of that URL.  I like it!

This one from Nam… oh wait, this one is actually the mayor of Atlantic City in New Jersey!

Under federal investigation for embellishing his Army service in Vietnam, a groggy-sounding Mayor Robert Levy called in sick at City Hall, climbed into his city-issued Dodge Durango and seemingly dropped off the face of the Earth.

Now, you read the entire story.  Then you read every single other news outlet carrying the story.  Not one of them mentions the political party of the mayor.  Maybe that’s because… he’s a Democrat!  Because if he was a Republican, it would be in the very first paragraph.  But those reporters, they have to protect their own.  I had to find out he was a Democrat over at Newsbusters.

Found this quote:

Liberals are hopping mad because Rush Limbaugh referred to phony soldiers as "phony soldiers." They claim he was accusing all Democrats in the military of being "phony."
True, all Democrats in the military are not phony soldiers, but all phony soldiers seem to be Democrats.

-Ann Coulter

I think Rush just hit a nerve.

From Yahoo! News who gets their news from the Democrat New Service, I mean, the AP.

A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below.
She shouts to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man consults his portable GPS and replies, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, “You must be a Republican!”
“I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” answers the balloonist, “everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’re not much help to me.”
The man smiles and responds, “You must be a Democrat.”
“I am,” replies the balloonist. “How did you know?”
“Well,” says the man, “You don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it’s my fault.”

I hate how CNN has lots of stories that only have videos and not text.  Makes it kinda tough to talk about what is going on without being able to quote the story.

But the story is about a cop performing CPR on a k9 that was choking.  The headline is pretty crappy, considering you would do the Heimlich maneuver on someone choking.

In this case he did the Heimlich on the dog, and then did CPR after.  But reading the headline makes me think that once again, reporters are idiots.

Finally.  Pit bulls are killing their owners instead of ripping the face off of the little girl down the street who was riding her bike on the sidewalk.

MIDDLEBURG, Fla. — A 42-year-old woman was fatally mauled by her two pit bulls, which also attacked the victim’s son and a sheriff’s deputy before both dogs were shot and killed on Tuesday morning, according to the Clay County Sheriff’s Office.

Tina Marie Canterbury was dead by 8:15 a.m. when Clay deputies arrived at the scene in the 2400 block of Cosmos Avenue, off county Road 218 West.

"She was a wonderful, wonderful person to be around — always smiling and always happy. It brightened up the room when she walked in," said Billie Cantebury, the victim’s cousin.

The victim’s 21-year-old son, Cody Canterbury, was also attacked by one of the dogs — bitten in the throat — but was not severely injured.

"We have two full-blooded red-nosed pits and they just attacked our mom," a second son is heard saying on one of the 911 calls. "We can’t get to my mom and my brother just went out there and they attacked him too. They don’t need to get out of the ambulance or the dogs will try to get them, too."

The dogs could be heard in the background of one of the 911 calls.

"As soon as I heard it, I stood up and made sure the primary dispatcher had dispatched the call because you could tell the urgency of it," said Director of Communication Diane Pickering, who took the call. "It’s attention to detail. It’s what the dispatchers do everyday. We hear everything, we don’t get to see everything."

A family friend at the home at the time shot at the dogs with a 9mm handgun, but the dogs were still alive and one of them lunged at an arriving deputy before it was shot and killed.

The other dog got loose. The sheriff’s office issued a dangerous dog alert while Clay County animal control officers and sheriff’s deputies tracked down and the second dog. It was found in a wooded area about two hours later, shot and killed.

"It is a tragic and horrific situation that brings to light the danger of these type of animals," Clay County Sheriff Rick Beseler said. "These dogs had never bitten a human before, but they did today — they did turn on their owner."

Authorities said they did not know what circumstances caused the dogs to attack Canterbury.

"This was a responsible owner. These animals never had any history of any type of aggression," said Animal Crimes Detective Annie Henderson.

Wait what was that?

"This was a responsible owner. These animals never had any history of any type of aggression," said Animal Crimes Detective Annie Henderson.

How can that be?  I hear the mantra over and over again from idiotic owners that its the owner and not the dog. 

Billie Cantebury said the dogs were his cousin’s companions when her husband was away on business. The victim’s husband, who was out of town on business at the time, is returning home to be with his family.

"They were house pets, and they literally slept with her when he wasn’t home. She would take them out and put them in their pin and walk them and stuff," he said.

The dogs were two years old and had been raised since puppies by Cantebury.

Beseler said the dogs were behind a fence that had a beware-of-dogs sign and the county had never had an animal complaint at the home.

So wait a minute.  These were perfectly good pit bulls that are so warm and cuddly.  The owner was "a good pit bull owner" (like there is any such thing) and did everything right.  And still the dogs flipped out and killed their owner??

Previous episodes 1370, 1214, 963, and 959.

via WJXT Jacksonville

This story is going around… thought you’d all like it.

STORY NUMBER ONE
Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago .. Capone wasn’t famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.
Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was Capone’s lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie’s skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time.
To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but also, Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block.
Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.
Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object.
And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was.
Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn’t give his son; he couldn’t pass on a good name or a good example.
One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done.
He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great.
So, he testified.
Within the year, Easy Eddie’s life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street.
But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he could ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine.
The poem read:
The clock of life is wound but once, And no man has the power To tell just when the hands will stop At late or early hour. Now is the only time you own. Live, love, toil with a will. Place no faith in time. For the clock may soon be still.
STORY NUMBER TWO
World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O’Hare.
He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific.
One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank.
He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship.
His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.
As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold: a squadron of Japanese aircraft was speeding its way toward the American fleet.
The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn’t reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching
danger. There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.
Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber’s blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent.
Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly.
Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction.
Deeply relieved, Butch O’Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier.
Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch’s daring attempt to protect his fleet. 
He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft.
This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the Navy’s first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor.
A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O’Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man.
So, the next time you find yourself at O’Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch’s memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of  Honor. It’s located between Terminals 1 and 2.
SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?
Butch O’Hare was "Easy Eddie’s" son.

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went down town and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I said to him, “Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?” He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a “Nazi.” He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a “doughnut eating Gestapo.” He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said “Hillary in ‘08.”
I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.