Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help.

When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my makeup.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn’t find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make-up, he broke down and admitted that he’d been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Confused and hurt

 ———————————————

Dear Confused and hurt:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

Walter

Had a guy cut me off today while driving home. Not bad like sometimes happens. In fact, I knew for about a half mile what he was going to do. The problem is it was very obvious that this guy did not know what he was going to do.

He wasn’t the driver of the other car. He was merely sitting in a driver’s seat.

Being in the driver’s seat of a car is the worst place to be while driving. Well, at least to have your mind be there. Your mind needs to be in about three different places. 50 foot ahead, 500 foot ahead, and 5000 foot ahead.

Defensive driving classes teach you that you don’t focus on the car in front of you. You need to be at least a car in front of that person. 50 foot…

In normal traffic 500 foot is also important because you need to be in the correct lane for what you’re going to do next. 500 foot is the turn signal comes on spot, which is before you do what it is you’re going to do. If you’re going to make a turn, 500 foot prior you put on your turn signal. THEN you slow down. If you put on your turn signal after you’ve already made your move, you’ve failed.

5000 foot is almost a mile. This is where you need to be making sure you know where you’re going. Your exit is coming up soon. You need to change lanes. Is that construction coming up. Why is that other lane suddenly slowing down up there.

Anyway, this guy that cut me off was letting the car take him somewhere, rather than being a driver and making the car do what he wants. He waited until the very last second to suddenly change lanes when his lane turned right. And I’m sure he’s been on that residential road a thousand times going home from work. But because he wasn’t aware, wasn’t being an active driver, he suddenly woke up when his lane ended and swung over in my lane without looking. But I knew he would do that and had already slowed down to leave a gap.

So Bill walks into a bar, all pissed off at the world.

Bartender walks up and asks, as all good bartenders do, what’s wrong?

“I’ve built 10 houses with my own two hands.  From digging the foundation, putting up the walls, painting, everything.  But do they call me Bill the Home Builder?  No they don’t.”

“Then, I’ve raced in 15 NASCAR races.  Won a few of ‘em.  But do they call me Bill the Car Racer?  No…”

“But have sex with one goat…”

Science gets it right

This could spark a row over the breakfast table, but recent research has found that there are more clever men than women.

An all-male team of psychologists at Edinburgh University has discovered that there are twice as many males as females in the brightest two per cent of the population.

Woo hoo!  Oh wait, there’s more…

The research, however, also points out that there are twice as many males as females in the least intelligent two per cent of the country.

But why???

One theory put forward to explain the results is that men have evolved to boost their intelligence as a way of making themselves more attractive to the opposite sex. Women, however, do not need to be clever in order to reproduce.

Oh man, that last sentence is going to lead into a ton of jokes.  None of which will be repeated here!  Except in the comments.

So I’m taking laundry out of the dryer yesterday when I see something fall into the basket about 2 inches long and thin.  It was my USB memory stick.  One of those Sandisk Titanium Cruzers.

Well, it was the guts of it.  The two sides of the cover had come apart in the heat and were still in the dryer.  So it had gone through the full wash and dry cycles.

2 minutes later with a bit of super glue, the thing was back to perfect.  Plugged it in and everything worked just peachy.  I like it…

MIT is surely proud about how well their highly intelligent students… fake a bomb in an airport. 

Massachusetts State Police arrested a 19-year-old MIT student Friday at Boston’s Logan International Airport after receiving a report that a woman had what appeared to be a bomb strapped to her chest.

The woman arrested at the Boston airport was identified as Star Simpson, an MIT student.

Authorities said the device proved to be fake.

Star Simpson, a student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, was charged with disorderly conduct and carrying a hoax device.

via CNN.com

The Mini-Mag Orion project.

The original Orion project was headed by Ted Taylor from General Atomics, who together with the famous physicist Freeman Dyson suggested ejecting nuclear explosives behind a spacecraft in order to propel it forward. The Mini-Mag system uses a magnetic field in order to trigger an explosion of compressed material in the form of small pellets weighing several grams. This explosion, although being significantly weaker than a nuclear explosion, creates plasma that is directed through a magnetic nozzle to generate vehicle thrust. The proposed technology enables the production of thrust at high efficiency, hopefully allowing drastic reduction of interplanetary travel time. According to calculations performed by AS&T, this type of propulsion system can produce the same thrust as the Space Shuttle Main Engine, with 50 times more efficiency.

Yeah, that’s pretty cool.  But the coolest thing:  There is a company that is still called General Atomics.  Tell me that isn’t the most awesome name for a company ever.  I’m a partner in Digital Labs, which is a pretty cool name.  But nothing is cooler than General Atomics.

Chuck Norris doesn’t travel. He spinkicks the world to the right location.

Watch out al Qaeda: Chuck Norris is on the scene in Iraq. As reported by the conservative Web site World Net Daily, the karate champion and action movie star is visiting 15 bases at the invitation of Marine Gen. Bob Magnus.
In an e-mail sent from Iraq and cited by World Net Daily, Norris said he’s observed two things: The surge is working” and morale is up — way up!”
He added that there’s a huge difference in security and safety since his last trip, in November 2006.
It is so much safer and more relaxed, particularly in the Al Anbar province,” Norris said. It is so much better than often conveyed by the liberal media.”

Damn straight!

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) — The defendant in a state senator’s lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He’s everywhere.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers sued God last week. Angered by another lawsuit he considers frivolous, Chambers says he’s trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.

Chambers says in his lawsuit that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.”

The Omaha senator, who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians, also says God has caused “fearsome floods … horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes.”

He’s seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty.

Chambers said the lawsuit was triggered by a federal suit filed against a judge who recently barred words such as “rape” and “victim” from a sexual assault trial.

OK, blah blah blah, the guys trying to make a point.  But that has nothing to do with my post here.

My post is about what the Associated Press chose to use as their photograph of this guy. 

Somehow I really doubt that this was the best picture.

Somehow I get the feeling that the editors has an ulterior motive.

Something possibly, about making this guy look like a saint.

Because I doubt that the photographer would take a shot like this with a giant fan in the picture.

Nope, the picture was taken and approved by editors who at best thought it would be funny.

Or maybe they really did want to insult the millions of people who are religious.

via Gazette.com

The gender gap has widened when it comes to hygiene, according to the latest stakeout by the “hand washing police.”

One-third of men didn’t bother to wash after using the bathroom, compared with 12 percent of women, said the researchers who spy on people in public restrooms. They reported their latest findings Monday at a meeting of infectious disease scientists.

The study is based on observations last month of more than 6,000 people in four big cities.

“Guys need to step up to the sink,” said Brian Sansoni, spokesman for the Soap and Detergent Association, which co-sponsors the survey and related education campaigns.

Ummm… maybe the men just don’t pee on their hands? And unless you’re very sick, urine is completely sterile. And this Brian Sansoni guy… he wouldn’t have an ulterior motive, such as wanting to sell more soap, would he?

via FOXNews

The American Academy of Dermatology reports tattoo regret is common in the United States. Among a group of 18- to 50-year-olds surveyed in 2004, 24 percent reported having a tattoo and 17 percent of those considered getting their tattoo removed.

So, most people with tattoos want them removed.  But then you get the jackass “artists” pulling stuff like this when the answer is the new tattoo ink called Freedom-2.

While Mr. Schmieg said he’s had a positive response to the ink, those in the tattoo industry are balking.

“It goes against everything a tattoo is supposed to be about,” said Ross Kennedy, a tattoo artist at Ink Monkey Tattoo in Homestead. “The whole idea about tattooing is, it’s about forever. Removing it defies the whole purpose in the first place.”

Mr. Kennedy, like other practitioners, regard themselves as artists on par with Monet and Leonardo da Vinci.

“A tattoo is a permanent body modification,” added Bob Lang, who has operated Accents in Ink in Castle Shannon for 13 years. “People don’t come in and think, ‘OK, I’ll get myself a tattoo that can be removed in one sitting.’ “

Did this loser actually think he’s an artist on par with Money and da Vinci?

via CNN.com

The Emmys?

“If the mothers ruled the world, there would be no g–damned wars in the first place,” said Field, trying to recover her train of thought while accepting her Emmy for best actress in a drama for “Brothers & Sisters.”

Bwahahah… What a load of crap.  Men aren’t nearly as spiteful as women are.

Another sometime political figure, former vice president and “recovering politician” Al Gore, received an Emmy — and a standing ovation — Sunday night at the 59th annual TV awards show.

Gore and Joel Hyatt won their Emmys for creating Current TV, a cable television network whose programs are often created by viewers.

“We are trying to open up the television medium so that viewers can help to make television, and join the conversation of democracy, and reclaim American democracy by talking about the choices we have to make,” said Gore.

And afterwards they all lined up, got on their knees, and gave him a hummer.  Especially since no one has ever seen this “Current TV” they’re talking about.  And its funny… he’s talking about “Reclaiming Democracy” but only when his party of cowards are out of power.  Hypocrite.

Fred Thompson plans to keep a big pile of dead terrorists on the front lawn of the White House as a testament to fighting ability of American troops. He’d do it at his current home if it weren’t for the HOA regulations.

More over at IMAO: Fred Thompson Facts

 Christian Domestic Discipline - Loving Wife Spanking in a Christian Marriage

Global Warming Consensus

Taking care of business, the Hollywood way.

Hitchens vs Islam Apologist

Original CSI

You’d think something like a list of The 50 Worst Cars of All Time would be exempt from the social engineers.  Nope, they will still try to make you feel bad about being an American.

For example, the Ford Model T is listed.  What’s wrong with it?  Oh nothing actually.  Its just that this is the car that made people want to own cars and drive.  And that’s EEEVIL of course…

Well, that’s just the problem, isn’t it? The Model T — whose mass production technique was the work of engineer William C. Klann, who had visited a slaughterhouse’s “disassembly line” — conferred to Americans the notion of automobility as something akin to natural law, a right endowed by our Creator.

Yeah, I really hate people like the one who wrote this.  He can go shove a Model T up his… orifice for all I care.

And another one of the “worst cars” was the very successful Ford Explorer.

How could the best-selling passenger vehicle in America 14 years running, the mother of all mom-mobiles, the beloved suburban schlepper of millions, wind up on this list? Forget about the whole Firestone tire controversy. In its very success, the Ford Explorer is responsible for setting this country on the spiral of vehicular obesity that we are still contending with today. People, particularly women drivers, discovered that they liked sitting up high. Even though more fuel-efficient minivans do the kid- and cargo-hauling duties better, people came to prefer the outdoorsy, go-anywhere image of SUVs. In other words, people became addicted to the pose. And, as vehicles got bigger and heavier, buyers sought out even bigger vehicles to make themselves feel safe. Helloooo Hummer. All of that we can lay at the overachieving feet of the Explorer.

Man, this author must not ever have to even shower, for someone so sanctimonious surely can never get dirty.  Damn socialists….

Surprised there isn’t a bottle of gin in her other hand.