Tomorrow night I’m driving out to the mid-atlantic states to visit everyone and be a guest at my buddy Bob‘s wedding.

Only to find out that in a wasteland of TGIFriday’s, Bennigans, and Chili’s, where everyone only has 37 pieces of flair, one of the three halfway decent restaurants in the entire state of Delaware has closed.  Air Transport Command apparently closed down early this year.  What a waste.

The only places left are dreary chains that no matter what day of the week, you’re waiting over an hour for a table.  Blech.

I’m not going to name the two other decent places, in case they shut down by tomorrow also!

I know, I’ve been slacking on this.  Have at it!

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is ¦
1. Prepare to be boarded.
Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don’t work, as they often won’t)

• They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.

• You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?

• Wanna shiver me timbers?
• I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.
• Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? ¦ Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.
• That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.
• Let’s get together and haul some keel.
• That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

By popular demand …

1. What are YOU doing here?
2. Is that a belayin’ pin in yer britches, or are ye … (this one is never completed)
3. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
4. So, tell me, why do they call ye, “Cap’n Feathersword?”
5. That’s quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!
6. Aye, I guarantee ye, I’ve had a twenty percent decrease in me “lice ratio!”
7. I’ve crushed seventeen men’s skulls between me thighs!
8. C’mon, lad, shiver me timbers!
9. RAMMING SPEED!
   …..and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:
10. You. Pants Off. Now!

Visit the wanted pages on Beeripedia.

For the worst driver of the day that didn’t cause an accident.

Let me count the ways.

1. Drove for over 5 miles in the left lane.  Slowly.
2. Had several cell phone conversations.
3. Swerved a few times into other lanes.
4. At the last minute before the road ended at a T intersection, thats when she decided oh yeah, I’m turning right.
5. Proceeds to move two lanes over to the right without a turn signal.
6. No turn signal to turn right.
7. When she turned right, instead of changing lanes to the left lane the right way by signalling and moving over, she basically turned right into the far left lane of the new road.

Here’s the picture.  I need a little image processing to bring out the license plate.  But for right now, here’s identifying information.  Normal Colorado tags on a dark grey Intrepid.  Drove all the way down Austin Bluffs and Garden of the Gods road in the left lane before turning right on 30th street in Colorado Springs.

We got kicked out of a 300 year old graveyard around midnite by a crazy old coot with a shotgun.

Find a web page in a foreign language, and use the google toolbar’s translate to english option.  See how poetic you get.  This is a translation from a Japanese website…

With the parents’ home Sakura, the home (with the company), with the weasel it rides,
When question careless it transfers, it may become enormous thing.
Recently is ascertained by his well enough being the animal lover.

I’ve been working on a big side job the past two weeks, taking about every spare minute.

But today, we deliver the goods.  A bit of going back and forth fine tuning, but much less time required.

As for you, it’s a good day to visit the Beeripedia!

Crack reporting from the BBC news

Blind man was ‘dangerous driver’

hehheh… I’m sorry, I just don’t think I need to quote anything more from that story…

A usenet post I made from that long long ago…

THE BARTENDER’S GUIDE TO SEX DRINKS
(more…)

Look around on the net for unprotected webcams with this search.

If you get lucky, some of them allow you to pan and zoom.  Found one which is a ceiling mounted cam in a distillery.  You could zoom all around.