Cowards.

Of all the things that they willingly show on Comedy Central, they cave on this?  A South Park episode showing Mohammed, where the entire two episode series is about the people that willingly surrender their most precious rights?

You know, I wish that their contract was up and they move the show to Fox.

And I can’t take it anymore.  This is about Angry Guy (AG).

AG sits in a cubicle next to mine.  He likes to bring in the paper and read it loudly.  Likes to listen to horrible music extremely loudly.
AG thinks EVERYONE except for him is an idiot.  How do I know?  I hear him mumble it when he hangs up the phone.

AG just went through a nasty divorce.  And his wife is a bitch.  How do I know?  I hear him yell on the phone at her.

AG’s kid is a delinquent.  Ran up 2400 text messages in just a week and a half.  He dropped out of school.  He works in a chinese food restaurant (hopefully not the one near me.)  Again, I know this because he covers his personal business on the phone.  Loudly.

The wife’s lawyer said this this and that at the divorce proceedings.  I know how much he just sold his house for.  I know about his girlfriend’s kid back in New Jersey.  I know she just kicked her delinquent kid outta the house. I know his girlfriend’s divorce settlement says that if he moves in with her, she loses her alimony.  So he’s buying a small condo when he moves to New Jersey to throw off suspicion.  I know he’s already scheduled the movers.

I know he has a DNR order.  I know he wants to be creamated and sprinkled over Key West.  While Jimmy Buffet plays Margaritaville.

What is the worst part:  I know he’s getting a vascetomy tomorrow, and he’d like the doctor to whack off a few skin tags while he’s at it.  I know in great detail why he’s getting it done.  That was the last straw.
FYI: This guy has never said a word to me.  He has never acknowledged my presense.

I’m going to have to start eating a lot of fresh tuna at lunch in my cubicle for the next couple weeks until he moves…

Some idjit somewhere near my cubicle is listening to “Benny and the Jets” waaaaay too loud.

Probably its Angry Guy.  There will be more about Angry Guy posted soon enough…

So my company has contracted themselves out to house a server for one of our clients… and lucky me, my DataCenter was selected to do the housing. Whatever. All it costs me is a little electricity and a run of copper.

Anyway… I received the machine. I was already pre-built with an OS and appz. There’s ALMOST nothing that I need to do to get the machine up and working. This is a beautiful thing. Except…

One of the rules of a DataCenter is simple. Even if you’re not inserting a machine into my domain, it is still residing on my network (which I am responsible for). Therefore, it stands to reason that I should be able to access that machine in some way… even if it’s only in the event of an emergency. Sounds reasonable… right?

Well… this server is merely housed in my site, but the bulk of the Admin work on it is going to be done by Steven Nutjob… of the Connecticut Nutjobs. Steven doesn’t need the machine inserted into my domain… so I would expect him to provide me with AT LEAST the credentials to a local user account on the box.

Mr. Nutjob informed me that HE would be doing all of the Administration on that server… so there would be absolutely no need for me to have login credentials for the box.

Growing rather annoyed by now… but wishing to remain the eternal corporate PC type… I finished setting up his hardware, and then emailed Steven Nutjob that his server was “On” and ready.

Steven Nutjob complained that he could not remotely reach his server.

I informed Steven Nutjob that he would be able to reach his server… as soon as HE manages to magikally remote into his server… so that HE (the sole administrator of this holy box) can configure an IP address on the NIC card. My part was completed. The server has been successfully housed at the site, and is awaiting his superior-like powers of Administration to make it all wonderful. However, if he is experiencing any difficulties, then I will be more than happy to assist him as soon as I have a set of credentials to log into the server with.

I’m expecting a call from my supervisor any minute now.

OK… I know this is nothing new, but I felt it needed posting. I’ve been getting tired of people coming up to me going… “Neat! Show me how you did that!”. So I’m going to tell you… if only so I don’t have to repeat myself yet again.

For those Windows users out there who (like myself) are too damn lazy to press [Ctrl]-[Alt]-[Del] + [Space Bar] to lock thier workstation up before walking away… you should know that there is an easier way. Just create yourself a clickable shortcut to lock it for you. Here’s how…

1. Right-click on your desktop, and select New –> Shortcut
2. In the “location of the item” field, browse to: C:\Windows\System32\rundll32.exe
3. Click [Next].
4. In the “name” field, enter “Lock Workstation”… or “Lock”… or “Hot, Sweaty Monkey Loving”… or whatever.
5. Click [Finish].
6. Right-click on the new Shortcut, and select Properties.
7. Edit the “Target” field to read as follows (and please note that the “LockWorkStation” part is CASE-SENSITIVE)
   * Target : C:\Windows\System32\rundll32.exe User32.dll,LockWorkStation
8. Click the [Change Icon] button.
9. In the “Look for icons in this file” field, browse to: C:\Windows\System32\shell32.dll
10. Choose an appropriate icon… like the “Lock” icon… or whatever.

Now when you’re about to walk away… just click your little shortcut. Happy now? Mmmm, K?

We’d like to present you with a blog that promises to spotlight a dumbass every week. Appropriately named Dumbass of the Week!

So c’mon and see who this week’s winner may be. It could even be you! Just kidding, unless you’re a raving moonbat.

Found the Special Day on her site…

Go to the Wikipedia and put in your birth month and day. Then post 3 events, 2 births and 2 deaths.November 22, that one’s a doozy. . .

Here’s mine, although I’m trying 3, 3, and 3…
Events:
1519 - Hernán Cortés enters Tenochtitlán and Aztec ruler Moctezuma welcomes him with great pomp as would befit a returning god.
1923 - Beer Hall Putsch: In Munich, Adolf Hitler leads the Nazis in an unsuccessful attempt to overthrow the German government.
and perhaps the most important event ever…
1971 - The fourth album of British rock group Led Zeppelin (Led Zeppelin IV) is released, including one of the group’s most well known songs, “Stairway to Heaven“.

Births:
1656 (N.S.) - Edmond Halley, British astronomer and mathematician (d. 1742)
1847 - Bram Stoker, Irish novelist (d. 1912)
1884 - Hermann Rorschach, Swiss psychiatrist (d. 1922)
other choices were Tara Reid, Parker Posey, and Courtney Thorne-Smith.

Deaths:
1887 - Doc Holliday, American gambler and gunfighter (b. 1851)
1978 - Norman Rockwell, American illustrator (b. 1894)
1986 - Vyacheslav Molotov, Russian politician (b. 1890)

Pretty slick….

I’ve been hearing some rumors about a remake of “The Dirty Dozen”.  I did some digging, and it seems that the KING of unoriginal thought (Quintin Tarantino) is working on a project called “Inglorious Bastards”.  He compares to film, but won’t make any claim it to being a remake.  You know what… that’s fine.  He can make a similar film along the same theme… and perhaps it’ll be cool.  However, I’m pleased that he’s not calling it a remake because I have doubt that anyone could do justice to a remake of this classic.

HOWEVER… this bit of news did inspire me to Netflix the original film for yet another viewing.  Then, as I was watching the film again (and LOVING IT) I starting thinking about what if a “remake” did actually go down.  What would that look like…

I was inspired to re-cast this classic with today’s stars… and YES, in the spirit of the original film, it would have to be a nearly “all-star” cast.

So now, here it is.  It’s time for “FANTASY RECAST”.  I popped over to IMDb to pilfer the original cast list… and started putting down my choices.  So, here we go!

Maj. John Reisman (Lee Marvin)… NOW:  Michael Ironside
Maj. Gen. Worden (Ernest Borgnine)… NOW:  Carmen Argenziano
Joseph T. Wladislaw (Charles Bronson)… NOW:  Hugh Jackman
Robert T. Jefferson (Jim Brown)… NOW:  Christopher Judge
Victor R. Franko (John Cassavetes)… NOW:  Tim Roth
Sgt. Clyde Bowren (Richard Jaeckel)… NOW:  Michael Cudlitz
Maj. Max Armbruster (George Kennedy)… NOW:  David Keith
Pedro Jiminez (Trini López)… NOW:  Diego Luna
Capt. Stuart Kinder (Ralph Meeker)… NOW:  Michael Weatherly
Col. Everett Dasher Breed (Robert Ryan)… NOW:  Jason Isaacs
Archer J. Maggott (Telly Savalas)… NOW:  Edward Norton
Vernon L. Pinkley (Donald Sutherland)… NOW:  Danny Masterson
Samson Posey (Clint Walker)… NOW: Kevin Durand
Brig. Gen. Denton (Robert Webber)… NOW: Edward Herrmann
Milo Vladek (Tom Busby)… NOW: Jason Statham

Now… I want to hear from you.  Call it personal curiousity.  Who would you cast?

As many of the regular readers of Pirate-King know, whenever I find a nifty little application, I will make a point of posting about it.

There are 2 rules that an application must follow to be considered “nifty”.
#1… it MUST be useful!
#2… it must NOT be complicated to install or use.

I think that Microsoft Time Zone actually qualifies as “nifty”.  It’s a tiny, compact little piece of software.  I find it useful (since I deal with multiple sites around the globe).  It’s simple to use.  And… it’s free.

Microsoft Time Zone conveniently runs in the system tray and allows you to easily view the date and time in various locations around the world. You can also quickly and easily add your own personal locations to customize Microsoft Time Zone the way you want.

Go download a copy for  yourself.

Mike Tyson pays respects to Mao

Former world champion heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson has spoken of feeling humbled during a visit to the mausoleum of Mao Zedong in Beijing.”I felt really insignificant next to Chairman Mao’s remains,” he was quoted by a Chinese daily as saying.

Probably has something to do with Tyson only beating up people in the ring and a rape here and there, while Mao is responsible for how many millions being killed?

Where else but at Comedian Jenée can you find goodies like this?

I can only wonder how many unwanted children are a result of 99 Cent Store condoms.

Wordpress is merging with Textpattern, so looks like things are a changin’ on the blog front once again.  Stay tuned for more info…
Its gonna be called WordPattern

We have a list of new features, downloads, and much more available on WordPattern.org. Our respective websites are being decommisioned so it’s best to go there for new information.

Howard Stern has a bit too much

Howard Stern is angry more fans haven’t followed him to satellite radio. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, the 52-year-old shock jock lashes out at those of his fan base who haven’t made the transition to Sirius Satellite Radio.In January, Stern moved his popular and bawdy morning show to the subscription satellite radio provider.

“I was just at my psychiatrist and I said, `I just got great news: We hit the 4 million mark. And I’m angry. It should be 20 million,’” Stern says in the magazine, on newsstands Monday.

Maybe 16 million “fans” think you were OK when you were free, but just not worth paying a penny for?