My old friend posted this fine pic of me when I was being a pure lunatic on halloween one year. Thanks Buddy! I swore that I’d get even, but, nothing has come to be to my advantage, yet! Every thing I’ve got on him is is good stuff. Like serving in the gulf war, graduating high school, washing his car, etc. I’ve began my dig, however, deep into the archives of memories, captured on film, and, oh yes, audio tape. Something will turn up. Meanwhile, all I’ve got is a ” bunch O’ nuttin.” ‘Til next time! C-ya!

[13:14] Chad: damn, cant think of any…
[13:14] Matthew: I know… it’s difficult
[13:14] Chad: there aren’t enough hot evil chicks

That’s all I can say about this!

Bet you can’t wait to show your wife and kids this picture from days gone by, huh?

Eden at Just One Bite tells us about a conversation with, well, someone who would be my wife’s relatives.

In Alice’s world, K-12 education would be standardized on a federal level. All schools would teach exactly the same thing, with flexibility for some units about local history and issues, and all schools would be clean and safe, with devoted, brilliant, motivational teachers who are paid like rock stars. The happy, excited students would spend two years in required community service, then trounce off to affordable colleges where they could study Plato and Newton and Chaucer (preferably segregated by sex so as to not distract the young adults with sex when they should be learning). Then, they would proceed to grad school for professional training or be welcomed into high-paying jobs — though not with greedy multinational corporations — where their open and well-informed minds would quickly catch onto the skills required. It’s like a freakin’ science fiction novel and she thinks it’s all possible if schools were simply given more money.Allow me to pause for laughter.

Yeah, people do think like that. My sister is soon to join the realms of the teacher class. She’s well grounded in reality, but it will still be amusing to see what she thinks in just a year…

From Jonah’s Military Guys..

December 9, 2005 (CNN) While interviewing an anonymous US Special Forces soldier, a Reuters News agent asked the soldier what he felt when sniping members of Al Quaeda in Afghanistan. The soldier shrugged and replied, “Recoil.”

His Majesty Emperor Norton I of America died in 1880.

Yup, betcha didn’t know that America had an Emperor at one time didja?

Once upon a time there was Cool Man Dave. Cool Man Dave wasn’t… cool. He was a dork of the highest order. Not geek or nerd, or something else good like that… oh no. He was dorkus maximus.

Little Matt brought him around to our group several times to hang out with. He was 16 or 17 at the time we last saw him. This is the story of how Cool Man Dave never came around anymore…

Little Matt had just took Cool Man Dave home after hanging out. There are about 6 or 7 of us still sitting on the front porch of my house, scheming. He was particularly annoying that day, and something must be done. This is what we came up with.

The next time CMD came around, we acted normal, until 6pm. It was the summer solstice, you see. And we had plans. And we were running a little late. No one had time to run CMD home, so we had to bring him with us. But thats OK, it was time he knew about the secret life we lead.

Everyone loaded a few boxes into the trunk of a car and off we went. Drove out into the boonies. Steve kept telling CMD how cool it was going to be, that Steve was being initiated after a long wait. And if things went well, CMD would be initiated too.

We all pulled into a dirt road, and off into the woods as far as we could. Tom met us there, saying everything was ready. Unloaded the boxes and walked out into a clearing in the woods. We opened the boxes, and all pulled out long robes. Steve and CMD were told to stay just out of site, behind a fallen tree in the woods, and wait to be called.

As it was getting dark, it was time. We started a small fire in the middle of the clearing and started chanting nonsense. Tom and Matt went off in another direction and came back a few minutes later, carrying a tall blonde girl. Kerri was Tom’s girlfriend, but CMD never met her before. She was dressed in a white gown. She acted unconcious, since she was our sacrifice…

At this point CMD was getting a little nervous, but it was the coolest thing he had ever seen, and paid rapt attention. Kerri was tied to a tree, where she slowly became concious. Our meaningless chants continued on, until Lori said it was time, the sun had set.

We walked up to Kerri said a few words, and plunged a fake stage knife into her chest. The fake blood bags were incredibly realistic. A few screams and it was over.

Steve was telling CMD how cool it was, and that it was almost his turn to go into the circle, when noises were heard from the forest.

Jason (who CMD also didn’t know) and several of his friends showed up dressed as state troopers. They had their weapons drawn, loaded with blanks.

“It’s more of those cultists, kill them all before they get away!” Jason shouted, as they started firing at each of us.

We all went down in great death scenes. Me, Tom, Lori, Damo, Big Matt, and Little Matt. The hardest thing to do while dying is not to start laughing.
Steve grabbed CMD and got them both running, when Steve went down with a shot to the back. “Run away, and never forget us!” Steve yells, as the troopers come up and put several more rounds into him. The turn as CMD runs off into the forest, never to be seen again.

…

At least, that was our plan, but CMD just kinda stopped coming around. That, and we were worried he really would take off into the woods never to be seen again, and he was still under 18 and we’d probably get into trouble.

OK, so it’s January 7th here in Colorado.  Yes, we’re buried under a dozen feet of snow, subzero temperatures, impassable roads…

Yeah, I made it all up.  It was about 65° outside.

I made a couple filet mignon on the smoker grill, played frisbee with my dog in the park, and just enjoyed the hell out of being outside.  Bright blue skies, and tonite I’ll be outside with astronomy size binoculars to see the stars.

Damn I love this place…

Vrooom

AN EXTRAORDINARY “hyperspace” engine that could make interstellar space travel a reality by flying into other dimensions is being investigated by the United States government.The hypothetical device, which has been outlined in principle but is based on a controversial theory about the fabric of the universe, could potentially allow a spacecraft to travel to Mars in three hours and journey to a star 11 light years away in just 80 days, according to a report in today’s New Scientist magazine.

Of course, it coming from New Scientist, so it must be true! But we all know that our interstellar ships won’t be declassified for a few more years…

Linked to Wizbang

Plastic Jesus

Heh. Why settle for a mere Power Ranger when you can have a Higher Power ranger?

Kung fu grip and everything!

Former Mayor Barry Robbed at Gunpoint

WASHINGTON Former District of Columbia Mayor Marion Barry was robbed at gunpoint at his apartment by some youths who had helped him carry his groceries.Barry, who wasn’t injured in the Monday night robbery, said he gave the youths a couple of dollars for helping unload groceries from his car and they left. They returned, however, and after Barry let them into his Southeast apartment, they pointed a gun at his head and took his wallet, which contained cash and credit cards, Barry told WRC-TV.

So, I guess he’s a conservative now, isn’t that how the saying goes?  Actually, I’m surpised he didn’t toke up with ‘em for a few hours.

Well… it’s been a while since I did an OotS translation for Haley.  I checked out the latest strip today, and I was inspired to play catch-up.  So… here are the translations for the last three strips in which Haley has appeared.

For those of you who’ve never heard of “The Order of the Stick”… I’m so sorry.  Click this banner immediately!

For the rest of you… here are the translations as I see them.  Remember…  as before, I have listed what Haley said in the strip¦ immediately followed by the translation.

In OotS #251… when the OotS crew decide that enough is enough.

Oze Ktpp ja asf –
You call it the –

Afw xzpd dtod dsf kyjfd!
Ten gold says she cries!

Ofts!
Yeah!

In OotS #260… Haley is quietly working on opening the lock on thier prison cage.  (This one took a while to work out… great fun!)

Ufxm ft rwra, fkmt bfe xfxxa…
Come on baby, open for mommy…

In OotS #262… Haley is STILL hoping to unlock thier cell.

Jpz rezncw gpsi!  Hxj hpd’e jpz pnbd??
You stupid lock!  Why won’t you open??

Qpcdq ep icgg jpz¦
Going to kill you¦

C xfeb Flfvcdq-kzfgcej gpsir!
I hate Amazing-Quality locks!

Qbb, exfdir, dp nubrrzub exbub
Gee, thanks, no pressure there

Wfld ce!  PNBD!!
Damn it!  OPEN!!

C fl epefggj cd gpyb hcex jpz.
I am totally in love with you.

For information on the previous translations, then go check out…

OotS #247 - What is Haley Starshine saying?
OotS #248 - What is Haley saying this time?
OotS #249 & 250 - More Words from Haley

Michael Moore, apparently, has a wife.

Chasing Waterfalls has insight on exactly what this means!

Being the father of 3, I dread going to restaurants.  You might ask… Why?  Children tough to control?  No.  Don’t need the expense?  No.  So why?  I shall explain.

The majority of restaurants I have encountered over the last year seem to be under the illusion that all families consist of 4 members.  Daddy, Mommy, Brother, and Sister… or some similar combination.  Perhaps this is true for the majority of the world… but some of us are a bit different.

In the future when I take my family to a restaurant, I would greatly appreciate just a little thought and consideration by the staff.  To those employees working at the various restaurants, let me state that I understand what you’re going through.  I’ve worked for 2 restaurants in my past, and I know what you endure.  I’m not just b|tching at you because I got lousy service.  I’m b|tching because I can’t stand being given little (or even less) consideration because my family doesn’t neatly fit into the traditional mold.

When my family arrives at a restaurant, we immediately announce to the hostess how many seats we will require.

Let’s add it up… Me + Wife + 3 Children = 5.  FIVE!!!!

At this point, the hostess immediately directs us to a booth.  99% of the restaurant booths on this planet are only big enough for 4 people.  I request a bigger table.  The hostess informs me that they can have another chair brought over so someone can sit in the isle.  I don’t want my children sitting in the isle where people can bump into them… and I sure as hell don’t want to sit there myself.  It’s not necessary.

Let’s look around the room… not 10 feet away is a larger table that could seat up to 8 or 10 people… but it’s empty.  The staff seems to think that some huge party of diners are going to arrive at any moment and they must leave these booths open.  This happens EVERY DAMN TIME!

So now I have to get hostile with the hostess, and INSIST on a larger table.  It’s at this point that the 20-something little princess hostess seems to think that she has more power over the situation than I do.  She tells me that I can’t have the larger table and will have to make do.

Well… guess what?  It’s at this point I’m calling for her boss.  The manager now has to waste his time to come out to the front and listen to me rant on about being considerate to the needs of the patrons… and Miss Pretty-Hostess is getting an earful as well.  And what else?  Now I’m p|ssed off before I even sit down… and the waitstaff is going to need to work even harder to impress me now.

I can’t speak for the head of every larger family in the US, but I can tell you that when I enjoy my service… I tend to tip HEAVY.  When I’m given considerations for the size of my family and our dining needs… I really appreciate it.  Most people do the math to leave the standard 15% (or less).  I start my tipping at around 20% (giving them the benefit of the doubt) and adjust from there.  It may sound excessive… but on one occassion I was so impressed with the service that I dropped a $30 tip for a $65 meal.  Yes… nearly 50%.  However, when I sit down to meal… already angry… then you can bet that my tip will reflect my mood.

If I were my waitress… then I’d be looking to give the hostess a good swift kick in the a$$.

So what happened?

We got our bigger table… we always do.  However, it’d be nice if I could get that table without giving myself additional stress and headache.  That’d be worth a few extra dollars to me.

An ebay auction is going on for a 1566 De Praestigiis Daemonum

What is this very slick looking book?

Third edition (the first was published in 1563). Probably the rarest manual of demonology ever published. Unlike most works on witchcraft that were written by inquisitors or witch hunters, here is a book written by a genuine occultist and defender of witches, Johannes Wierus, the very disciple of Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa, the greatest magician of the Renaissance. With a deep insight in the real nature of the Devil, having himself managed to fathom the hellish hierarchy, Wierus condemned the superstitions contained in the Malleus Maleficarum, establishing a clear boundary between true Sorcery and the mere illusions of mentally ill women. As the first book ever to defend witches it was almost immediately sentenced to fire by the inquisition, only a few copies remain.

Of course, right now the bid is for $1,275.00. Know anyone who might want to pick up a copy?  Possibly Dodgeblogium…

It’s open trackback day… So work on your masterpiece of blogdom, and then link and trackback to this page.

While it may not help your TTLB score, I’ll generally hit all the sites, and permanently link in the blogroll if you have good stuff.
That is all…

Shameless stolen from our friends at Japundit!

I was born in the year of the Dog also, but not this one of course.