Scientists can now tell from brain scans who is going to be a politician based on the ratio of grey to white matter in the noggin’…

Breaking News - Smart beer mat orders refills

A beer mat that knows when a glass is nearly empty and automatically asks for a refill has been created by thirsty researchers in Germany.

Andreas Butz at the University of Munich and Michael Schmitz from Saarland University came up with the idea while out drinking with their students.

The disc-shaped mat can be attached to a normal beer mat so that it still soaks up spilt liquid and displays an advertisement. But it also contains a pressure sensor and radio transmitter to alert bar staff of the need for a refill.

The device weighs 110 grams and costs $100 to make, but Butz and Schmitz think the weight and cost would shrink if the mat were to be mass-produced.

Ahhh… now that is almost as good as curing cancer!
Coming up next: Bar stool that whisks you away to the can when it detects leakage!

Thats right, the Pirate-King is now "officially" pro-victory! Let your site be known. Hero or coward.

Here’s proof we live in the greatest country.

versus

The Donegal Express makes me laugh about busting on the silly europeans and their silly ways!

To E=mc2, which turns 100 today! woo hoo!

With Ajax web programming technology?
I’ve been doing exactly this since 2001 with web applications I developed for JPMorgan… Why does it seem like its suddenly the new big thing. Sheesh people, old news!

So… I’m reading my websites and drinking my coffee. My car is fixed… my trip to the dentist was painless… the coffee is good… no one is nagging at me… and my boss is actually asked my opinions on a future project before he started making promises in my name. Life’s pretty good today.

Then, the phone rings.  It’s Raymond Snapperhead… and he’s so damn rude, that I’m betting he’s a blood relation of John Snapperhead.

Me:  Hello?

Ray:  Hi.  I need you to unlock a user account.

Me:  OK.  Have you called the Help Desk yet to open a ticket?

Ray:  No.  I’m calling you.  You’re the administrator… and I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste my time trying to make those damn Hindis understand what the hell I want.

Me (in complete understanding… ):  OK.  Just one second… my laptop is a little slow.

Ray:  OK.

Me:  Alright… now, is it your account that is locked out?

Ray (rather sarcastically):  Yes.  <then, apparently chatting with the person next to him, he says…>  This guy’s an idiot.

Me (now rather annoyed…):  Alright… your account is unlocked.

Ray:  It’s not working.  I can’t log in.  I must have forgotten my password.  Reset my password for me.

Me:  I can reset your password for you, but our policies state that I can’t just give you your new credentials over the phone.  I need to leave them for you in a voicemail message.

Ray:  That’s &#($%*’ing stupid… I’m on the phone now.

Me (mad):  Yes, sir.  However, I have no way of guaranteeing that you are up you say you are.

Ray (again to his neighbor):  This guy’s a moron.

Me (getting short tempered…  ):  I’ll reset your password, and leave it for you in your voicemail.

So… I do.  I set his password to… "S0n0P3rd3nt3"… which, if you lose the L33t speak… will roughly translate into "I’m a Loser" in Italian.

The user logged in… and changed his password… and then proceeded to call my supervisor.  My supervisor, Tim, put the jerk on speakerphone so I could listen in.

Ray:  You’re people are very inconsiderate.  That <Anarchy> is quite rude, and … <blah> <blah> <blah>

Phuking a$$hol3… I disabled his account for about 20 minutes until he called me back.  Then, re-enabled it before picking up the phone.

Me:  Sir… it always seems to work when I talk you through it.  Are you sure the problem isn’t something you’re doing?

Did that about 3 times so far today…

Hmmm… might be time for me to take a quick trip to the southern hemisphere!

According to legend, a fabulous treasure haul was buried on the island in 1715 by Spanish sailor Juan Esteban Ubilla-Echeverria. The bounty is said to have been discovered a few years later by British sailor Cornelius Webb, who reburied it on another part of the island.

By some estimates the haul would include 800 barrels of gold ingots, silver pieces, gems and other riches worth up to $10 billion. Naturally, the promise of such fabulous wealth has attracted scores or treasure hunters to the island in the past.

Anyone willing to sign on as crew?

Makes me wonder if in a few hundred years they’ll be cursing these guys for dooming the Earth!

Hey, congratulations to Bob Weir on his engagement! It’s about damn time dude…

So I’m glancing at CNN while walking down the hallway. A press conference about Hurrican Rita is on, and next to the speaker is a sign language interpreter.

I knew people were screwed when it looked like the interpreter just stopped and started making rowing motions with her hands….

I started 50 years ago… Darren Stevens was in advertising. That whole show Bewitched was the start of a decades long plot. Make advertising look like a nice wholesome job. Even if you were a bumbling idiot.

Have you ever noticed that you are not even called a citizen anymore in government reports? Nope, you’re called a “consumer”. Not a person… even human being is a term not found.

Nothing pisses me off more than being called a consumer. If someone calls me a consumer to my face, I will hit them.

Advertisers suck ass. And now the Chickenfuckers in advertising have come up with a new way to piss me off.

Advertisers in London are using a brand new way to bombard people with commercials, by targeting people with video-capable cell phones and some free time on their hands. And the technology could be coming to America soon.

This latest assault by advertisers is an extremely direct approach. A radio transmitter using Bluetooth (search) technology searches for technologically capable cell phones in a certain area, such as an airport or train station, and then sends a video clip to the phone for the owner to watch at will.

If one of these ever show up on my phone, I will find the box that is doing the transmitting, and shove it up someone’s ass. And hopefully it is going to be the person responsible for putting it there, but I make no promises!

Avast ye scum ridden weevil shaggers. Captain Anarchy is gonna keel haul you and grow barnacles on ye starboard knacker! ARRRGHHHH!!!

Yup… September 19th is international "Talk Like a Pirate" Day.  Don’t believe me?

Go check out… http://www.talklikeapirateday.com/

Here’s another one… http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

This UK site has some good pointers on how to adjust your vocabulary in homage of this day. http://www.yarr.org.uk/talk/

If you’re in the mood for an online pirate adventure… then join this game as a pirate of your choice and sail the puzzling high seas at http://www.puzzlepirates.com/

So… stow yer new-fangled jaw waggin’… and speak like a swashbucklin’ gentleman o’ fortune! Savvy?!

A German Biofuel inventor speaks about how he fuels hs car…

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German inventor said he has developed a method to produce crude oil products from waste that he believes can be an answer to the soaring costs of fuel, but denied a German newspaper story implying he also used dead cats.

Christian Koch, an inventor and patent holder of the “KDV 500″ that he said produces high quality fuel, said he can transform waste products such as paper, rubbish and plastic materials into fuel.

But Koch, 55, said there was no truth to stories published in Bild newspaper on Tuesday and Wednesday that suggested he used dead cats as part of the mix for his organic diesel fuel.

“I use paper, plastics, textiles and rubbish,” Koch told Reuters.

“It’s an alternative fuel that is friendly for the environment. But it’s complete nonsense to suggest dead cats. I’ve never used cats and would never think of that. At most the odd toad may have jumped in.”

Bild on Tuesday wrote a headline: “German inventor can turn cats into fuel — for a tank he needs 20 cats.” The paper on Wednesday followed up with a story entitled: “Can you really make fuel out of cats?”

He went on to explain that he really took the cats, dipped them in kerosene, and used them as torches while working at night.

The BBC News did a great article where they went to an Afghan village and interviewed several people from there. Most of the questions came from readers around the world.
To be expected, many of the questions are along the lines of “Don’t you hate Americans for the war and how eeeeevil they are?”

All the answers were basically saying what are you, stupid? Here’s an example of that kind of obviously leading question along with the unexpected response that doesn’t condemn the great Satan.

Q: Do you think the US war helped Afghanistan or made matters worse? Which was the worst regime - Taleban, Russia or the current?

Haji Saleh: The Russians were the worst.

Rahmat Gul: The Russians were the worst.

Lal Bibi: The Russians were pagans, they were not Muslims. We don’t blame them. They were bad, but the Taleban were worse. They are Muslims, yet they burnt our houses and destroyed our lives. So they were the worst.

Gul Khan: The Communists were the worst.

Shukrullah: The Taleban were the worst.

Shaista: The Soviets were the worst.

Dingo baby trial opens in Australia
1982: Dingo baby trial opens in Australia
A mother who says her nine-week-old daughter was killed by a dingo has appeared in court in Australia charged with her murder…

Please pause a moment, reflect back, and take the following multiple choice test. The events are actual Events from history. They actually happened!
Do you remember?

1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by
a. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry Potter
d. a Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were
kidnapped and massacred by
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. During the 1980’s a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill’s women problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Nope, ..I really don’t see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President’s security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40
alone lest they be guilty of profiling.

—
My dad sent me this one in email… I’m sure its been making the rounds for years, but hey…

There’s a new TV show available from PBS… but it’s not on the air.  It’s only available online.

It’s called NERDTV.  I’ve checked it out, and personally think it’s pretty damn cool.

This weekly online TV Show hails from PBS.org, and is described as being "Charlie Rose for geeks".  It’s a one-hour interview format show with a single guest each episode from the world of technology.

The 1st episode (from September 6th) is available online now… and features Andy Hertzfeld.  Andy was the original (as in "first-ever") Macintosh systems programmer.  He talks about Mac History and how he fell in love with Open Source software.

Future guests that are scheduled are…

September 13th - Max Levchin (Co-Founder of Paypal)
September 20th - Bill Joy (Co-Founder of Sun Microsystems)
September 27th - Steve Wozniak (Co-Founder of Apple Computers)
October 4th - Tim O’Reilly (Tech Book Publisher)
October 11th - Dan Drake (Co-Founder of Autodesk)
October 18th - Bob Kahn (Inventor of TCP/IP)
October 25th - Doug Engelbart (Inventor of the computer Mouse)
November 1st - Jerry Kaplan (Former principal technologist at Lotus Development Corp)
November 8th - Brewster Kahle (Internet Archive founder)
November 15th - Larry Tesler (Apple chief scientist)
November 22nd - Eric Schmidt (Google CEO)
November 29th - Linus Torvalds (the Father of Linux)

Someone got a hold of a Howard Pyle’s Pirate Illustrations book from 1903 and scanned them all in to Flickr. Take a look, these are great stuff!