… If you had any sense at all.
Seems that, oh my, Giuliana Sgrena lied! She lied about how many bullets were hitting the car before, and now she lied about how fast the car was going towards the US checkpoint.

A US satellite reportedly recorded a checkpoint shooting in Iraq last month, enabling investigators to reconstruct how fast a car carrying a top Italian intelligence official and a freed hostage was traveling when US troops opened fire.

The report, which aired Thursday on CBS News, said US investigators concluded from the recording that the car was traveling at a speed of more than 60 miles (96 km) per hour.

Giuliana Sgrena has said the car was traveling at a normal speed of about 30 miles an hour when the soldiers opened fired, wounding her and killing Nicola Calipari, the Italian agent who had just secured her release from a month’s captivity.

Captain’s Quarters was the first to let me know about this one. Captain Ed has this to say about the Italians:

The Italian position, therefore, has changed. Now instead of arguing that the Americans wanted to kill Sgrena for some kind of secrecy — but then inexplicably allowed her to get medical attention once wounded — they now claim that the checkpoint wasn’t marked well enough for their driver to identify it. Going 60 MPH on a darkened road that had been widely identified as a terrorist trap, towards the airport that the Italians knew to be highly defended by American soldiers, apparently fits within Italian security parameters.

Also covered by the Country Store, who has a great accompanying graphic!

Fark had a link to an article today about how a company called SeaCode is about to outsource jobs.  While this doesn’t seem fantastical any longer, you’ll be amazed to realize that they will be outsourcing the jobs to foreign programmers on a 600 cabin cruise ship anchored 3 miles of the coast of El Segundo (Southern California) to take advantage of loopholes in the law that will allow the company to pay a competitive salary of ~$21k/year.  Supposedly being on a ship will make one work more diligently.  David Cook, co-founder of SeaCode states, and I QUOTE, “Try to get American software engineers to work at night.”

We’re all pirates here right?  I see some booty worth plundering… arrrrrrr!  I’ll happily watch this guy walk the plank…

Saw this Americans And Canadians Go To War via Silent Running. It’s a bit long to watch, but is very funny…

According to Ghost of a flea, I’m only an hour away from seeing Serenity!

Curse you, Seattle, Austin, Sacramento, Boston, Altanta, Chicago, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Denver and The Portland of Oregon! For Joss Whedon has a Serenity announcement to make to you:

The movie is very nearly finished. You've seen many pretty images in the trailer. But I've still got work to do and you've still got months before you can see it.
Unless.
And, no, I'm not talking Australia (but Hi, Australia! anyway), I'm talking here in the more-or-less-United States, a one time multi-city Browncoat sneak event. Thursday, May 5th at 10:00 pm, the movie (Serenity! Pay attention! Jeez.) will be playing at exactly 10 theaters in 10 cities across the country. You (or possibly someone much like you) (or possibly a robot EXACTLY like you, but with better manners and sonic arm-lasers, sent to take your place) will be able to buy a ticket to see Serenity months in advance. Not just the bitty trailer with not enough Kaylee and Book, but the whole film, in its extremely almost completed state.
Vexed again!

Hahhah!

Loserz is back!

A friend, ok, a “friend,” and I went to Disneyland this last Saturday, and I must say, it’s still quite enjoyable (unless you factor in the crowds, crying children, and insanely long lines, then it’s a wash).  I thought I had grown out of such forms of entertainment, but I suppose not.  At some point, we all need a break from reality for a bit, and there’s nothing more fantasical than It’s A Small World.

We hit many of the main attrations at the main Disneyland park (Indiana Jones, Pirates of the Caribbean, of course, Matterhorn, Haunted Mansion, It’s a Small World) and tried out the new Buzz Lightyear ride.  This last one actually surprised me.  You sit in a cart and use a “blaster” to shoot at targets and get points.  Most of the DL rides are very “spectator,” whereas this one actually got you involved.  Definitely something to try if you get to the park.  Towards the evening we went to California Adventure and tried the Tower of Terror.  OMG, the line was insane.  The ride was thrilling, but I don’t think I’d wait that long for it again.  Not to mention we had a group of 9 behind us that constantly tried to get by us, as if we wouldn’t notice.  The evening was capped off by dinner at Catal and some entertainment at ESPN Zone in Downtown Disney.

We left the house at 8am, got down to DL by 10am and left for home at about 1am.  Soooore doggies.   It was definitely a blast though.  We had a great time, even at 25.

KOREAN WAR CASUALTIES, 1st Cavalry Division, 5th Cavalry Regiment, LETTER ‘A’
AMBERG KARL A Rank=CPL Serial Number=RA32062932 Branch=Infantry
Military Occupation Specialty=04745 Year of Birth= Race=Caucasian
State of Residence=NJ County of Residence=Essex
Unit=5th Cav Regt Division=1st Cav Div Type of Unit=Inf Regt
Place of Casualty=South Korea Date of Casualty (yymmdd)=50 09 11
Type of Casualty=DOW
Detail of Casualty=SWA/Seriously wounded in action by missile
Group of Casualty=DOW or DOI (Far East Command)
Evacuation Disposition=

That’s all that is to be found about my grandfather’s brother who died in Korea. The rest of the story is the interesting part.
Seems he was on his way home after his tour was over, and stopped in Hawaii. Stopped in a bar, where he got in a fight with a Russian naval officer. Killed him. Big diplomatic mess. Lots of embassies screaming at each other.
The powers that be wanted to make this mess go away, so Corporal Karl Amberg was sent to the front lines, in the worst of several battles, until the problem finally went away. Hit by a mortar round, he managed to hang on until he made it to the MASH unit.
I never met him, of course, since he died twenty years before I was born.

It is going to be a “Good Eats” kinda dinner. Gonna mix things up a bit though.
Main course: Good Eats meat loaf. Mmmm… good stuff. Beefy goodness.
Side dish: Sweet corn bread pudding. From the Turkey brine episode. One small change I meant to put in but forgot: add a small can of diced green chiles. But it still turns out incredibly good.

Thomas Naughton at least tells the truth about what he feels.

Guilt can only weigh on a person’s mind for so long before they crave the act of purgation; to get the weighty feelings of shame and responsibility out of the mind - or at least the guilty parties attempt to find some kind of peace if they cannot rid themselves of a screaming conscience that implicates and indicts its possessor.

OK, thats fine and all. You’re feeling guilty about your life. Fine enough…

That said, perhaps some readers will understand why my friends and I rip yellow ribbon “support the troops” magnets off of cars or wherever people have affixed them. By ripping off these ribbons, we find a way to deal with our guilt, as though with each ribbon swiped we take back a life that was taken by this senseless war started by our senseless president and those who support him.
I will never say, “support the troops.” I don’t believe in the validity of that statement. People say, “I don’t support the war, I support the troops” as though you can actually separate the two. You cannot; the troops are a part of the war, they have become the war and there is no valid dissection of the two. Other people shout with glaring eyes that we should give up our politics, give up our political affiliations in favor of “just supporting the troops.” I wish everything were that easy.

So, you admit that you and your friends are both criminals and traitors.

What they really mean is that we should just give up our will, give up our identities, give up our voices to those in power. Perhaps that’s just the way people aligned with the right wing choose to get rid of their guilt: blindness and ignorance.

Ahh, here we go. The right wingers are stupid. What this guy doesn’t understand is that not everyone feels guilty like he does. He is incapable of comprehending how other people feel. Most right wingers do not feel guilty about being born white, or American, or whatever else. He attributes that to being brain dead.
That’s right, once again, the best a leftie can come up with is to say, “If the right wingers were smarter, they’d be left wingers.”
Sorry, that doesn’t fly. Thomas Naughton, I am smarter than you are. I also chose to serve my country in the military. I have been to war and seen it. Thomas Naughton, I do not respect you, nor your position. You are a fool, and you go on and on about feeling guilty. You seriously need medication.
The Rottweiler , the Medic, and Christopher also have thoughts on this guy… But the best is from MarineCorpsMom.

New Scientist broke the amazing news that distractions, well, keep you from operating at your full potential.

The relentless influx of emails, cellphone calls and instant messages received by modern workers can reduce their IQ by more than smoking marijuana, suggests UK research.
Far from boosting productivity, the constant flow of messages and information can seriously reduce a person’s ability to focus on tasks, the study of office workers found.
Eighty volunteers were asked to carry out problem solving tasks, firstly in a quiet environment and then while being bombarded with new emails and phone calls. Although they were told not to respond to any messages, researchers found that their attention was significantly disturbed.
Alarmingly, the average IQ was reduced by 10 points - double the amount seen in studies involving cannabis users. But not everyone was affected by to the same extent - men were twice as distracted as women.
“If left unchecked, “Ëœinfo-mania’ will damage a worker’s performance by reducing their mental sharpness,” says Glenn Wilson, a psychiatrist at the University of London, UK, who carried out the study, sponsored by Hewlett-Packard. “This is a very real and widespread phenomenon.”

So let me get this straight. Distractions keep you from focusing. Someone get me a friggin dictionary!
Next, someone is going to realize that working in a damn cubicle, where you are constantly bombarded by what everyone else is doing and saying is also bad for productivity.

From the "Open Source" encyclopedia, the Wikipedia entry on the new Pope, Benedict XVI.

So, the damn pot smoking hippies are saying that the new Pope is the Emperor.  All because he has more conservative leanings than telling every idiot out there that no matter what they do to stroke themselves off, it is AOK with him.  Because we all know that what is fashionable for today is more important than saving your souls.

Whatever, these cafeteria religious types piss me off so bad.  Because they think that thousands of years of religious tradition needs to change because it doesn’t bend to what every little smeghead thinks it should be like.

Announced just today, Roman Catholic Cardinals have decided on, via popular vote, a new Pope.  Call me crazy, but I would imagine that there would be more of a religious spin to the selection of the leader of the world’s largest religion.  In my fantasy world, you’ve have to endure a grand ceremony and personal test of God’s divine will for you to lead his religion.  Instead, I can’t help but imagine the politics going on in the Sistine Chapel, "Vote for me, and I’ll abolish celibacy!"  Which they of course forget about as soon as they are elected for the life-long appointment.  Since when was religion a democracy?  Isn’t the whole point to it that *God’s* will be done?  The fact that they had to go through several votes raises all kinds of red flags to me.  If God wanted someone to be Pope, wouldn’t he intervene and influence the Cardinals’ decisions?  It would be unanimous the first time around!

Found over the Jawa Report, they’re having a caption contest. Here is my personal favorite answer…

Cal Tech Girl: Get your own MBNA Jihadi Visa card! Complete with Picture ID fraud protection. Choose between "Car Bomb" or "Dead Infidel" (not shown) background!

Coming from the state the MBNA owns like a bitch, I can actually see that billboard with the MBNA emblem on it, right at the MLK exit on I-95 northbound, just as you pass the stadium in Wilmington.

Wanted: One strong, willing, red blooded republican man who wants to stand up and take it from this woman.
No picture, but the text isn’t safe for work.

The company I work for is merging with an equally monsterous company.  Both of these entities have associate call centers in Human Resources.  While the call center name in one of these businesses was quite simply and succinctly "Associate Service Center," the are requesting a new name and acronym for the integrated group.  I want to have fun with this.  I’d like to recommend some names that work well for the business, but have a dark underbelly that would make those "in the know" snicker every time it’s uttered…

This call center incorporates the functions of HR and Payroll, and services the business nationally… any suggestions?

This is true corporate piracy…. arrrrrrrr!

…being sick. I’ve had an extremely nasty bug for the last few days. The worst illness I’ve had in many years. Took nyquil the other night. I forgot (since I rarely get sick) that the drug that makes most people sleepy wires me up. I’m on two days with no more than 2 hours sleep. I did sing what I thought was the nyquil song:

The night time sniffling, sneezing, coughing, special sauce, lettuce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

Yeah, I’ve been that out of it!

I’ll admit it, I’m a water snob.  Many people drink fine wines, others drink exotic beers, I, however, reach for the ornate, nearly artistic, glass bottles of… water.  I’m not certain why.  Growing up I was raised on tap or well water, but certainly not Evian.  Nevertheless, at some point in time, I unconsciously began to shun municipal water.  Maybe it’s due to the occasional poor water source or aging piping systems that have dosed me with excessively chloric or iron-laden water, which has conditioned me to drink the sweet, sweet nectar of Fiji simply for it’s consistency.  To make matters worse, I can’t seem to drink ANY water when it’s luke warm.  It must be very cold. 

Traveling to New York recently, I was posed with quite a serious dilemma.  New York has one of the cleanest municipal water supplies in the nation, in fact, better than some bottled waters.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t bring myself to embibe the stuff.  To make matters worse, last year I gave up cola drinks, so my primary beverage is water.  I had to hunt for bottles of water to satisfy my thirst.  Hell I tell you… Hell…

Ultimately, I’ve come to the realize that if I had nothing other than tap water (or Arrowhead, which I personally consider no better than tap water), I would simply go without.  Gallons of water could surround me, and I would die of thirst.  One of my co-workers has taken a keen interest in my neurosis.  I’ve explained to her my condition, and she disbelieves that I can taste a difference between tap water (or Arrowhead) and "poshy" water.  She’s planning to give me a "taste test" one of these days.  The Pepsi challenge is for pussies.  Ok Mickey, it’s time to being my training…

There are many out there like myself who are real fans of the Aubrey/Maturin series of novels by Patrick O’Brian.  I adore these books.  These novels are simply brilliant.  The series is about the friendship shared by Captain John "Lucky Jack" Aubrey, R.N. and Doctor Stephen Maturin (Surgeon and Intelligence Agent).  The books are set against the backdrop of the Napoleonic wars… and is a very acurate description of what life aboard a man-of-war was like during this era.  I describe them as being… absolutely flawless.

There’s one thing I love more than reading these books.  It’s listening to Patrick Tull perform readings of the books.  When the original publication of the audiobooks on CD (from Recorded Books, LLC) was released, I was very poor and could not afford to purchase them all.  If any of you out there are in agreement with me, then… GOOD NEWS!

I discovered this evening, quite by accident, that Recorded Books, LLC has re-released the Patrick Tull readings of this series onto Audio CD.

At the moment, 20 of the 21 novels are available for purchase as Collector’s Editions.  The odd book out is "Yellow Admiral"… however, I have learned that this book will be re-released on CD at the end of June 2005.

Get them while you can!!!

Ok, so I’ve read the "Which is worse" scenerio books (you know the ones "Which is worse, eating apparently clean food from a foul dumpster, or freshly cooked food handed to you by someone who has just left the bathroom with unwashed hands?") and I have a spin on it myself:

Which is worse… being in a relationship and loving that person, but not being IN love with them… or being IN love with someone you cannot have a relationship with?  Discuss…

So I find the dynamic between men and women fascinating… intriguing even.  There’s a world as men see it, and a world as women see it.  Most men are unable to, and quite possibly, incapable of, viewing this "alien" landscape.  Personally, I’ve never been comfortable approaching anyone, let alone a woman, that I do not know in an attempt to strike up a mutually enjoyable conversation (notice that I say mutually enjoyable, and not necessary "interesting" or "intellectually satisfying," there’s a reason for that).  I blame fear of rejection and self-demotivation (negative self-talk).  It seems as if there are times where what I’m saying or how I’m saying it fall shy of my interal image of the event, something seems to be lost in the translation.  Maybe I should just drink more…

Oh, and I’m sure everyone’s seen the new PSP commercials.  The music for the ad is "Take Me Down" by Franz Ferdinand.  Great song.  Took me some time to track down the music for the Nike commercial recently released with athletes in masks.  It was "Migration" by Cop Shoot Cop.  Enjoy.

Most people complain about taxes. Left wingers want to make everyone pay more. Very few put it into practice.

In 2003, the feds received gifts for 19 cents, 42 cents, and 89 cents. They arrived as pennies and other coins taped to letters explaining that the money was found on the street.

Usually, people write in to support a cause.

“They want their money to go to rebuild the Pentagon, or to go to the soldiers,” said Vivian Cooper, director of the U.S. Treasury’s Financial Accounting and Services Division in Washington, D.C. “Unfortunately, we can’t do anything specific.”

The Treasury can’t promise that money will go where requested. Instead, the cash from the fund is tossed into the nearly $2.5 trillion federal budget where it could pay for anything from soybean subsidies to Sen. Ted Kennedy’s salary to secret containment facilities for extraterrestrials.

Now, I can’t argue with making sure Area 51 has the money to keep the force fields up and running, but I thought that this came out of the black budget stuff anyways…