My friend Hiroki in Japan recommends this series. Hasn’t seem to hit the US quite yet. Looks pretty damn funny… I’ve been looking for it on file trading, but nothing yet besides a few music vids. But its good to see new Pirate cartoons coming out! Arrroooo…

“The Pirates That Don’t Do Anything” by Relient K

we are the pirates we don’t do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we’ll just tell you, we don’t do anything

well I’ve never been to Greenland
and I’ve never been to Denver
and I’ve never buried treasure in ST Louie or ST Paul
and I’ve never been to Moscow
and I’ve never been to Tampa
and I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

we are the pirates we don’t do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we’ll just tell you, we don’t do anything

and I’ve never hoist the main sail
and I’ve never swabbed the poop deck
and I’ve never veered starboard, cause I’ve never sailed at all
and I’ve never walked the gang plank
and I’ve never owned a parrot.
and I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

we are the pirates we don’t do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we’ll just tell you, we don’t do anything

I’ve never plucked a rooster
and I am not too good at ping-pong
and I’ve never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall
and I’ve never kissed a chipmunk,
and I’ve never gotten head lice
and I have never been to Boston in the fall

(pirate captains log 2002
who be this band relient k
and why they be so full of contradictions)

we don’t know what he did
but we’re down with captain kidd
we don’t wake up before lunch
but we all eat captain crunch
we don’t smoke, we don’t chew
we watch captain kangaroo

and I’ve never licked a spark-plug
and I’ve never sniffed a stink bug
and I’ve never painted Daisies on a big red rubber ball
and I’ve never bathed in yogurt
and I don’t look good in leggings
and I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

we are the pirates who don’t do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we’ll just tell you, we don’t do anything

we are the pirates we don’t do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we’ll just tell you, we don’t do anything.

Find “Song of the South” out there on Kazaa or WinMX. Now “unofficially banned”* in the US by the forces of political correctness.
Its a great set of stories, and a fine movie. This site has all the details. Walt himself loved it,

“The first books I ever read were the Uncle Remus stories. Ever since then, these stories have been my special favorites. I’ve just been waiting until I could develop the proper medium to bring them to the screen.”
“ Walt Disney, 1946

I had the book when I was growing up. I’ve seen the movie and it is a great classic Disney before the current crop of fluff. The best thing out of Disney in the past 20 years is “Spirited Away” which was put out by Studio Ghibli in Japan and only translated by Disney for the US market.
But there have been many other banned cartoons. A big search hit on Kazaa now is “Banned Cartoons” which are a lot of the 40’s Warner Brothers Bugs Bunny stuff. “Bugs Bunny Nips the Nips” is one of them that will never be shown again. A lot of anti-Hitler cartoons also.
Damn I wish people weren’t afraid of history, or try to change it to meet their current focus.

* While not officially banned, and a lot of rumours are going around, Disney will not apparently re-release the film. From the FAQ:

Q. Has Song of the South really been banned?
A. No. This is one of the long-standing myths surrounding this movie. It has been said that the NAACP banned the movie, but that simply isn’t true. The NAACP did show their disapproval of the portrayal of African-Americans in the film even when Song of the South was being produced, however there hasn’t been any official “banning” going on anywhere. As far as we know, Disney has taken it upon themselves to withhold this movie from the public. Supposedly, the NAACP has no current position on the film.

Merry Christmas all. I love getting the family together for the Holidays, because we get to occasionally hear stories about relatives.
My great Uncle Charlie-boy from North Carolina went gambling in Los Vegas back in the 70’s one time. He took about thirty thousand dollars with him. He went high stakes gambling a lot, either to Vegas, Atlantic City, the Carribean, etc. But this one trip he lost it all. Then he borrowed another thirty thousand from the mafia and promptly lost almost everything.
So with only about two thousand left, he went to Reno, hoping to have better luck. And he did. By the end of the weekend, he had paid back the mafia, won his original 30k$ back, and made probably another 30k$. He promptly rented the entire floor of the hotel and threw a big party for people he met around town. Including Frank Sinatra. At one point, he threw a cowboy boot at his wife Myrtle, missed, and had it break through the window of the hotel.
The costs of damages and all the food ate up the 30k$ extra he made. But he was still mad, since he never did find his boot.

Just saw the best quote on the whole Iraq situation. Prince Bandar of Saudi Arabia just lectured the Europeans for whining about not getting contracts in Iraq when they tried to block the whole thing.

Bandar went on to rebuke Europe as ineffectual, saying at one point that he wouldn’t want to have to call on that continent’s leaders if he encountered trouble in a dark alley. “The U.S. is the best bet,” he said, adding Saudi people are America’s “friends.” Bandar also reiterated the Saudi condemnation of terrorism and said the U.S. had no choice but to go to war in Iraq. Removing Saddam Hussein from power “couldn’t happen by poetry. It had to happen the way that it did,” Bandar said. “The good of it outweighs all the pain that was caused by the process.” The ambassador repeatedly praised Bush’s decisions to fight terrorism, invade Iraq and send troops to Afghanistan to oust the Taliban. “We should be grateful for what the United States has done to get rid of those two evils, the Taliban and Saddam,” Bandar said, generating applause from hundreds in attendance of a luncheon co-sponsored by the Bilateral/U.S.-Arab Chamber of Commerce.

Thats great. You can’t fight terrorism with Poetry. I love it!

It is a good day for electronic freedoms.
The RIAA can’t easily file John Doe lawsuits anymore. Details follow:

Until now, the RIAA has used an expedited subpoena process provided for under copyright law, which it says allows it to force ISPs to hand over customer names without a judge’s approval or even a lawsuit. If Friday’s decision stands, the record industry will likely be compelled to take the more time-consuming and costly step of filing “John Doe” lawsuits against people whose identities are not yet known. The person would eventually be unmasked during court proceedings.
This option has a possible downside for the RIAA, however. Currently, the trade association knows the identity of the people it names as defendants. By switching to a process in which anonymous people are sued, the RIAA runs the risk of making an embarrassing misstep–by suing a son or daughter of a record label executive or of a U.S. senator, say.

Also, a Dutch court has found for Kazaa and file trading.

The decision by the Dutch court, the highest European body yet to rule on file-sharing software, means that the developers of the software cannot be held liable for how individuals use it. It does not address issues over individuals’ use of such networks.

Just read Aaron Mannes on National Review Online talk about the new Battlestar Galactica on the SciFi channel. Nice, but I thought of one main point when I watched it.
The school teacher who became president’s first words when she found out about the bombings of her home planet was to ask if the colonies had surrendered yet. Her very first reaction reminded me of most of the crop of current Democratic candidates for POTUS.
Then of course once made president she tried to order the last battleship to become a floating hospital liner. I can see it now, “chuck those weapons overboard! We can fit a few more burn victims in that launch tube!”
At least the director of the show made her look like the proper idiot she is.

So they found Saddam in a hole.
Pundits for months have said that it would be better to find Saddam dead and over with. In this case, I think a worldwide public trial would be a good thing. This will be an unprecedented event. It holds more importance than even Nuremburg in my opinion since they didn’t have Hitler on trial.
This is where everything will come out. What countries sold Saddam illegal weapons. How many people he killed and tortured. His support for terrorism. WMD. Everything.
It will all be presented in a court of law for the entire world to see. All the evidence. It will probably drag on for months, maybe years. Don’t know at this point. This is a trial for oppresive dictators the world over.

Reuters says it all:

Exclusions for Iraq contracts unacceptable
Wed 10 December, 2003 12:53 BERLIN (Reuters) – A German government spokesman says it will be unacceptable for the United States to bar firms from countries which opposed the war in Iraq from competing for prime contracts to rebuild the country.
In a policy document released on Tuesday, U.S. Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz said he was limiting competition for 26 reconstruction contracts worth up to $18.6 billion that will be advertised in coming days.
He cited national security reasons for the exclusion of firms from countries that opposed the war including France and Germany. They may bid for sub-contracts.
Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder’s chief spokesman Bela Anda said on Wednesday that if the reports of such an exclusion were true:
“That would not be acceptable for the German government. And it wouldn’t be in line with the spirit of looking to the future together and not into the past.” He declined at a news conference to comment on what action the government would take.

The Canadian government is also crying. I hope at least the French stand up for thier principles. So, OK, lets see if I got this straight from their perspective.

• We are against what the US is doing.
• We don’t want any part of it.
• We’re going to try to stop it.
• Our people are protesting what happened on a daily basis.
• Bush is evil, blah blah blah.
• OK, its all but over now, but we still think that the US was wrong.
• Wait a second, there is now money to be made after the war instead of just selling arms before the war!
• Stop everything, we demand our full rights to bid for work from the US Government.
• Whaddaya mean we aren’t allowed to?
• You mean the US is actually going to reward those that helped them instead of us who hindered? That is so not fair!!!
• WAAAAHH.

OK, time to act like a grown up country. Even though all your respective governments are so much younger than the US gov. ;)
One. You have no rights to anything from the US except what was given to you in a formal treaty with the US.
Two. The US has the right to do whatever it wants with its funds otherwise.
Three. The US is the most generous country in history. Our debates in the US aren’t about how we don’t give enough money to XYZ, but that we give away so much money to other countries, shouldn’t we keep a little for our own benefit?
Four. We will always help those who help us.
Five. We usually help those that can’t help us because they have nothing to give. Just don’t shoot at us. That would piss us off. Kids in the US grow up, go to summer camp, and spend the entire time squishing icky bugs. It’s good training for the future.
Six. We usually help those that don’t help us anyways. Most of the time.
Canada and Germany aren’t shut out of these Iraqi contracts. They can be subcontractors. But for the big ticket, for the publicity, they can’t. Hell, from what I read the Iraqis don’t want collaborators in their country anyway.
Look at Japan. They are prevented from actively fighting in a war by their Constitution. They have an ongoing internal debate over what to do. They just sent a lot of cash in the last war, and were criticized for “buying their way out” of things. That experience, along with wanting a much greater place in world affairs for the second greatest economy in the world, led them to send troops to help with the reconstruction effort. It was not an easy decision for them to make by any means. As little as one combat or terrorist death now could take down their government. But looking at the situation they made the hard decision to stand up and help the Iraqi people. Their troops will be targets for the terrorists. This will be a test for their country. Will they quickly retreat back home, scared of the bad world out there? Or will they draw upon the strength of their past. Being a strong people does not necessarily mean you will go out conquering territory. That is only one direction to take. You can still be strong and a force for good in the world. Their SDF (Self Defence Forces) aren’t up to the level of the Marines, or the Army Rangers and Special Forces, etc. Their training and purpose is different. But one that I think is appropriate to the mission at hand.

**UPDATE**
Via Fox News:

“This totally gratuitous slap does nothing to protect our security interests and everything to alienate countries we need with us in Iraq,” Delaware Sen. Joe Biden, the ranking Democrat on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, said in a statement.
“At the very time the secretary of state and secretary of defense were at NATO requesting greater allied participation in Iraq and Afghanistan, we stick a finger in the eye of those whose help we are seeking ? It’s long past time we stop treating Iraq like a prize and start acting in the interests of the United States,” Biden said.

Biden. You friggin weasel. You really disgust me. Gratuitous slap? You know, its time to start thinking about our interests and not the rest of the world’s. What do we truly have to gain from letting these contracts go to those who actively seek to block our intentions? Do you honestly think that this will turn them around, make them think that since we give them a piece of the pie that they will suddenly come over to our side? Ummm… No. You are teaching them that they can do what they want and no matter what, they will be rewarded by the likes of you.
Ever hear of positive and negative reinforcement? Its basic psychology. You reward behavior that you find appropriate. You don’t reward behavior that doesn’t. We are in this whole mess because we were easy on terrorists, and gave them what they wanted. They decided we were soft, easy prey. Then they attacked. While I doubt that Germany will attack us militarily, you will be rewarding behavior that does not benefit US interests.
Or are you just afraid that excluding our “allies” we will offend them further? I’m sorry, but this is only $19 billion dollars. It is not going to make or break any relationships. They’re going to whine and complain. Each country has to look out for their own self-interest. Including ours. It does not mean that we have to grovel before the world. Somehow I doubt that when these countries were taking their positions a large part of them said, “Hey, we might offend the US. We should just do whatever they want.” No, each country made their decision based on what they believe in. Which is just fine. But you make your decisions based on what the everyone other country will think of you. Guess what, they don’t vote for you. You willingly give away our security and our freedoms at every turn just to be liked by visiting dignitaries. Your job is to represent the interests in the people of Delaware and the United States. In case you’ve forgotten.

So one of the new Star Wars movies are on, and I’m watching it. I find myself rooting for the bad guys. I can’t wait until the third movie comes out because I want to see the Jedis get all but wiped out. The whole Republic needs to be flushed. None of the “good guys” is a sympathetic character. The Jedi council is boneheaded and useless. Some of the actual knights themselves seem pretty cool, but thats because they don’t talk, only fight. Everything is completely corrupt. That galaxy needs an emperor.
Turns out I’m not the only one who thinks like that. Some very good points are brought up. The clones are nothing but slaves, the moral code of the Jedi is actually useless, blah blah blah.
My main issue with the movies though is that whole “Bring balance to the force” thing. Supposedly, the Jedis are good. Now, to balance that, there must be evil. Duh. Of course it ends up the Jedis are only the slightest bit positive, despite their preaching. So to balance that, all it takes is a Jedi to kick an old person just once. But my issue is, this whole Jedi council, supposedly so wise and all, is too stupid to understand that whatever would balance out their goodness, well, needs to be destroyed because it is evil. But they go running to the meat grinder. Of course the fault belongs to Lucas for using such a completely obvious, beat you over the head, kind of plot point. Duh…

Down on Episode 155 we have a commenter who thinks that South Park is a liberal, left wing show. I responded to the comments, but this just leads to a bigger article. First off, lets hit with the hardest evidence:

Many conservatives have attacked “South Park” for its exuberant vulgarity. Such denunciations are misguided. Conservative critics should pay closer attention to what the show so irreverently mocks. As its co-creator, 32-year-old Matt Stone, sums it up: “I hate conservatives, but I really f*cking hate liberals.”

So, you have the people who make the show say that it is very anti-liberal. More commentary about the show:

South Park has satirized the sixties counterculture (Cartman has feverish nightmares about hippies, who ?want to save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad?); anti-big-business zealots (a ?Harbucks? coffee chain opens in South Park, to initial resistance but eventual acclaim as everyone?including the local coffee house?s owners?admits its bean beats anything previously on offer in the town); sex ed in school (featuring ?the Sexual Harassment Panda,? an outrageous classroom mascot); pro-choice extremists (Cartman?s mother decides she wants to abort him, despite the fact that he?s eight years old, relying on the ?it?s my body? argument); hate-crime legislation, anti-discrimination lawsuits, gay scout leaders, and much more. Conservatives do not escape the show?s satirical sword?gun-toting rednecks and phony patriots have been among those slashed. But there should be no mistaking the deepest thrust of South Park?s politics.

Andrew Sullivan created the moniker of South Park Republicans. Its the closest thing to what I subscribe personally. I am too smart to be bullshitted, and too savvy to be lied to. I will look at both sides of an issue and decide which is pure bunk.

Talk to right-leaning college students, and it?s clear that Sullivan is onto something. Arizona State undergrad Eric Spratling says the definition fits him and his Republican pals perfectly. ?The label is really about rejecting the image of conservatives as uptight squares?crusty old men or nerdy kids in blue blazers. We might have long hair, smoke cigarettes, get drunk on weekends, have sex before marriage, watch R-rated movies, cuss like sailors?and also happen to be conservative, or at least libertarian.? Recent Stanford grad Craig Albrecht says most of his young Bush-supporter friends ?absolutely cherish? South Park?style comedy ?for its illumination of hypocrisy and stupidity in all spheres of life.? It just so happens, he adds, ?that most hypocrisy and stupidity take place within the liberal camp.?

What our commenter likes to think is that, as a left-wing liberal, all “proper” viewpoints belong to him alone. What he isn’t politically savvy enough to understand is that the difference between conservative and liberal anymore isn’t the idea itself. It is how it is implemented. Liberals feel that since the idea itself has merit, it must be implemented, it must be immediate, and everyone must accept it, since it has been decreed. Conservatives on the other hand will take time, experiment on a small scale, watch for unintended effects, but will never force feed everyone. An example is smoking “rights”:

Please read more on the latest controversy on whether or not I even exist at TechCentral Station. Jonah Goldberg things the SPR’s don’t really exist as a definable block. While maybe thats true, its usually no more fuzzy than any other group of voters. But the general viewpoint as I see it is they are “realist libertarians” who have little use for most government functions, and just want to live thier lives in freedom.
Also please view: The Inherent Conservatism of “South Park”

For those that look to Europe as a model for justice, the following headline should correct that opinion.
Appeal of DVD hacker’s acquittal begins
Read it again. He was aquitted of the crime he was accused of. Here in the US that means its done and over with. Not so in Norway, where the government gets to keep prosecuting you for the same exact crime over and over again until they get a verdict that the prosecutor likes.
Anyways, moving to a new hosting provider. This is posted on the new provider before the DNS switchover completes, so when this is seen, I know we’re live. New site is much faster!
Oh, and I have had a real celebrity stop on by! At least in my books… Chris Muir stopped by to quote on Episode 159. And I am stoked. He is a very talented political cartoonist. Its always amazing how in just four frames, he can get to the heart of whatever issue is currently in front of the nation. And he likes to make liberals look funny too! But only when they deserve it, I’d say. I like to read his comic every day along with MegaTokyo.

You might want to check out The biggest non-events of 2003. Have any additions feel free to add them in the comments.

Hillary Clinton must be SOOO PISSED. President Bush was in Baghdad with the troops for Thanksgiving. Which made her trip to Afganistan fall right to the bottom of the newspaper column. I can imagine her throwing a complete fit and her handlers cringing in terror. I also imagine all the newspaper editors who were all set to trumpet her trip to everyone who would listen that she is out there for the troops. Then out comes the bombshell of Bush’s visit. The whole secrecy thing, even 41 and Barbara not knowing about it until after the fact.
Its the double whammy. Not only is President Bush just the type of guy who would do this on his own, just to boost morale, he scores a great political victory on Clinton. He didn’t even handle it the same way. Clinton goes around, never would really talk to any low level troops, just meetings with Important People. Having seen her, I know her disdain for the common person, unless they are part of the special interest group of the day. But W has dinner with the troops, even serving them meals, and then has a single meeting with the ambassador and a few Iraqis, and then leaves. Since he stayed such a short time, it was obvious he went for the troops. Now, thats class.
Other commentary:
Random Nuclear Strikes
Eye on the Left
Eye on the Left 2
Sugar White Sand