Tales from the East Coast #9: Quoting Barnard Hughes

in the early evening on Friday, the 18th of November 2005 by Anarchy

So I’m doing some much needed cleaning in my garage where the junk has piled up pretty damn high. If I don’t clean it out now, then I won’t be able to park my car in it during the winter… and I hate scraping the ice off of my windows in the morning. Well… a precariously stacked pile tiped off of one of my shelves and fell down on top of me. It wasn’t too bad, since most of it was rags, newspapers, etc… but there was a few miscellaneous wood nails in the midst of the mess, and they managed to scrap me in the neck when I got hit. Nothing too bad happened… I just got scratched up a bit. However, I did start to bleed a little (without realizing it).

Well… one of my neighbors emerged from the darkness and into my garage to talk for a minute. He had a Windows OS question he wanted to ask, so I let him talk. Anyway, the conversation went on for a few minutes before he spotted the cut on my neck and the blood dripping from it. Here’s how the rest of the conversation went.

Bob: So when I look in Device Manager, and open the Properties of… hey, did you know your neck was bleeding?
Me: What? (touching my neck and pulling back a red hand). Dammit. Not again!
Bob: What happened?
Me: Oh… nothing out of the ordinary.
Bob: Huh?
Me (completely deadpan serious): That’s the one thing about living in Delaware I never could stomach… all the damn vampires.

I went inside to patch myself up. Bob went home. I don’t know if he’ll be coming back.