Tales from the East Coast #8 - Rude User dammit
around lunchtime on Tuesday, the 27th of September 2005 by Anarchy
So… I’m reading my websites and drinking my coffee. My car is fixed… my trip to the dentist was painless… the coffee is good… no one is nagging at me… and my boss is actually asked my opinions on a future project before he started making promises in my name. Life’s pretty good today.
Then, the phone rings. It’s Raymond Snapperhead… and he’s so damn rude, that I’m betting he’s a blood relation of John Snapperhead.
Me: Hello?
Ray: Hi. I need you to unlock a user account.
Me: OK. Have you called the Help Desk yet to open a ticket?
Ray: No. I’m calling you. You’re the administrator… and I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste my time trying to make those damn Hindis understand what the hell I want.
Me (in complete understanding… ): OK. Just one second… my laptop is a little slow.
Ray: OK.
Me: Alright… now, is it your account that is locked out?
Ray (rather sarcastically): Yes. <then, apparently chatting with the person next to him, he says…> This guy’s an idiot.
Me (now rather annoyed…): Alright… your account is unlocked.
Ray: It’s not working. I can’t log in. I must have forgotten my password. Reset my password for me.
Me: I can reset your password for you, but our policies state that I can’t just give you your new credentials over the phone. I need to leave them for you in a voicemail message.
Ray: That’s &#($%*’ing stupid… I’m on the phone now.
Me (mad): Yes, sir. However, I have no way of guaranteeing that you are up you say you are.
Ray (again to his neighbor): This guy’s a moron.
Me (getting short tempered… ): I’ll reset your password, and leave it for you in your voicemail.
So… I do. I set his password to… "S0n0P3rd3nt3"… which, if you lose the L33t speak… will roughly translate into "I’m a Loser" in Italian.
The user logged in… and changed his password… and then proceeded to call my supervisor. My supervisor, Tim, put the jerk on speakerphone so I could listen in.
Ray: You’re people are very inconsiderate. That <Anarchy> is quite rude, and … <blah> <blah> <blah>
Phuking a$$hol3… I disabled his account for about 20 minutes until he called me back. Then, re-enabled it before picking up the phone.
Me: Sir… it always seems to work when I talk you through it. Are you sure the problem isn’t something you’re doing?
Did that about 3 times so far today…
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September 28th, 2005 at 4:18 pm
Yeah, I’be been there.
The best, however, was when I worked for a Chinese boss. If he saw me on the phone for more than five minutes, he’d walk over and snatch the phone from my hand.
“Hello. Tom smart, you hide truth from him because you break machine. No. If you did no break, Tom would have you fixed by now. You break machine and hide your shame. Confess!”
Then he’d hang up if they didn’t confess.
*ring*
He’d pick up the phone for me.
“Confess!”
*click*
*ring*
“CONFESS!”
*click*
*ring*
“CONFESSS!”
Until the guy would finally admit to changing something.
Only then would he allow me to continue helping the user.