Assume the position

in the late evening on Monday, the 21st of March 2005 by Chad

Once again, we’re all hanging around at around 2am in a parking lot just outside of town.

Not causing any problems, although I did have my bar in the car. It was a foot locker fitted with foam padding, and could store 5 fifths of booze, along with 10-12 pints, while also holding 6 glasses, shotglasses, assorted bar implements, a cordless drill fitted as a blender, and even a supply of the little umbrellas.

But we’re behaving ourselves, when in come the flashing lights. The way the parking lot was, we had no where to run, so everyone just got in their cars, sat and waited.

The cop car pulled right behind Jason’s 280zx just as he was getting ready to get into the car. "Jason!" comes blaring over the loudspeaker… "You know the position!"

First, flashback to the day before.

So Jason is coming back from college. 1700 miles away. A 280zx is a very fast car. Average speed for the entire trip, including taking a whiz, was about 80-85 mph. He made good time.

Finally, he hits the state line. Feeling that he has been lucky so far, he slows up to the exact speed limit. A few minutes later, a police car pulls him over. Not having done anything illegal in this state, he wondered what was going on.

The problems started when a second… and then a third car pulls up. Jason starts to wonder if all that investment into martial arts and crafts will pay off when they do the full COPS treatment on him, get outta the car, hands up, face down, etc.

Seems a mass murderer or something was being sought by the fuzz, and since this guy drove a foreign car, well, a 280zx is durn well foreign ain’t it?

A few hours later, upon realizing that a black and gold 280zx is not the same as a blue civic, they let him go.

Back to the next night. Officer Mulvena had pulled into the parking lot, lights blazing, and pulled right up behind Jason’s car. "Jason, you know the position!"

So Jason turned, looked and said, "Officer Mulvena!" So he bent over and grabbed his ankles.