Juggies

around lunchtime on Sunday, the 27th of February 2005 by Chad

An Italian “Jubologist” has linked women’s breast type to their personalities.

Melons: A woman with large, round breasts “likes eating and wants to be spoiled and admired, but seldom likes sex,” says Lorenzi.
Grapefruit: “This woman may look erotic, but in reality is bashful and homely. She spoils her partner but prefers tenderness over sex.”
Pears: “Loves love in all its variations. She can be very religious, but is known to have affairs.”
Pineapples: “A woman with pineapple breasts is intelligent, often has a career but is still romantic. They are also faithful. Whoever wins their heart will not lose it quickly.”
Oranges: “While she is self-confident and knows her goals, she has little interest in sex. She likes conversation and partnerships.”
Lemons: “These women are full of life and can laugh at themselves. They want a balanced life without surprises.”
Cherries: They are entertaining and intelligent. Make great partners both for everyday life and on holiday and are moderately interested in sex.”

So this is the important quote right here: That’s right - the shocking conclusion of Lorenzoni’s study is that women don’t like sex very much and the form and volume of their assets makes little or no difference in the matter.
I am also pretty damn sure this was government funded research.