The Knuckles Test

at around evening time on Wednesday, the 23rd of February 2005 by Chad

A Simple Test from Johnny Knuckles to find out if you are a liberal. Even though he downplays it because he’s all liquored up from being sick, it is one of the best I’ve seen.

10 Ways to Know If You’re a Liberal.
1. You love humanity but hate people.
2. You define rich as anyone who earns more money than you.
3. You believe that government should run everyone’s life except your own.
4. You believe that Stalin and Hitler could have used their absolute power as a force of good.
5. You have an endless supply of labels for your enemies without ever attaching one to yourself.
6. You distrust the free market’s invisible hand but trust Big Brother’s iron fist.
7. You claim to be a religious skeptic but never question primitive or New Age beliefs.
8. Your education could be better described as indoctrination. e.g. A liberal cannot remember hearing any of their teachers attributing any positive actions to Ronald Reagan.
9. You distrust the “hard left” and the “extreme right” and claim you have a solution “somewhere in the middle.”
10. You can only win elections by masquerading as a libertarian or conservative.