Red Trek

at around evening time on Tuesday, the 8th of February 2005 by Chad

STAR TREK for Communists shows that when the Soviets weren’t busy stealing our nuclear secrets, they were stealing our TV shows.

“Cosmos Patrol” is “Star Trek” in Marxist-Leninist drag. Consider the similarities: “Cosmos Patrol” takes place in the 23rd century aboard a large galaxy-cruising spaceship called the Red Adventurer (Krasny Avantyurist). Like the Starship Enterprise, the Red Adventurer is on a long-term mission of exploration on behalf of the Commonwealth of Independent Star Systems. Both ships are manned by some 400 brave and able crewmen and -women. Both ships encounter strange alien beings and bizarre celestial phenomena week after week. Both ships boast a dashing commander at their helm, with an overly intellectual first officer by his side. And both shows feature cheap special effects and odd velour uniforms.

The hero of “Cosmos Patrol” is the handsome yet avuncular Commander Vasily Dobraydushev; Comrade Commanderto his crew. His surname translates literally as Kind Soul. Consequently, fans of the show call themselves dushki, which means, approximately, dear little souls. Like much of Russian pop culture, the show oozes with sentimentality, up to and including tearful folk songs and lengthy toasts to the Intergalactic Brotherhood of life forms. And when Comrade Commander faces a difficult decision, he sometimes asks for guidance from the bust of Lenin in the ship’s ward room.

My favorite part: they even had their own Chekhov. How did they ever come up with a name like that? Sheesh.
I wonder if their Captain talked the same was as ours…