Mainstream

at around evening time on Monday, the 12th of July 2004 by Chad

I have been drinking coffee since I was six months old. Yes, six months old! My grandmother watched me during the week while my dad was in the service and my mom was working. She would give me diluted coffee throughout the day, stop around 3-4 pm, and by 8pm I fell into a nice sound sleep. Woke up the next morning, repeat.
My parents never really found out why I was so damn cranky on weekends. I just needed my fix, thats all. How many middle school kids started off the morning with a cup of joe? Not many I’ll bet. Especially now, I’m waiting for the crusaders for children to start cracking down, and making Folgers rated R.
So, what is latte? I really have no idea.
I know expresso is expensive burnt beans in a small cup. I’ve had it, its good, but not worth the effort.
All over TV is iced latte commercials. And I have never had any. From what I gather it is something pooftahs and pretentious people drink. The kind of thing that could taste extremely nasty, but you sound cool when you order it.
Yeah right. How man people are still impressed by the pretentious? Seinfeld is in re-runs. Clinton is out of office. All the whiney bastard musicians killed themselves long ago. This is the decade of real men, and real coffee.