We already know from Steven Den Beste that lots of alternative energy solutions don’t quite cut it.  Right now only hydrocarbons, hydro and nuclear.  Hydrocarbons include gas and oil, along with coal.  Hydro is of course the hydroelectric plants that are built into dams.  But people need to know more about nuclear.  So many people are afraid of the nuclear voodoo.

The Nuclear Power FAQ at IMAO can help answer your questions.  Some choice bits:

NUCLEAR POWER FAQ

Q. How does nuclear power work?

A. Donkeys are tied to a large crank which powers a generator. The donkeys are then exposed to radioactive material turning them into super donkeys who can turn the crank at tremendous speeds.

Q. How does it compare to solar power?
A. It’s not as gay… in that’s it’s not something you’d look at and say to yourself, "I bet a homosexual came up with this idea." Also, it can work at night. If we had solar power and an evil sorcerer cast a spell to put the world in eternal night, not only would we have to deal with constant vampire attacks, but we’d have no power too.

Q. Why is there opposition to nuclear power?
A. Well, the Democrats are against it because it’s useful, and their main constituency is hippies who are huge into uselessness. Also, animal rights activists are against it to even though donkeys get radiated in the wild like all the time. None of these people are very big, though, so you can just push them to the ground if they get too noisy.

Having worked at a nuke plant before, I’d have to say they fed the used donkeys to the Wackenhut security guards.  You see, most of the guards couldn’t use the turnstile entries to the secure area, which let you halfway in and then you used biometrics to authenticate.  The guards just couldn’t fit through the turnstile!!!  And those were the women guards.  They would use the vehicle entrance outside the building when they had to pass between areas.

Luckily the people who ran the nuke plant finally fired Wackenhut.

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