Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear From Your Consultant
in the early morning on Wednesday, the 5th of December 2007 by Capt Jake Fortune
I’ve had several consulting jobs, and this is the kind of stuff I really did hate about it. Because this stuff SHOULD have happened often.
- You’re right; we’re billing way too much for this.
- Bet you I can go a week without saying synergy or value-added.
- How about paying us based on the success of the project?
- This whole strategy is based on a Harvard business case I read.
- Actually, the only difference is that we charge more than they do.
- I don’t know enough to speak intelligently about that.
- Implementation? I only care about writing long reports.
- I can’t take the credit. It was Ed in your marketing department.
- The problem is, you have too much work for too few people.
- Everything looks okay to me. You really don’t need me.
That one about the Harvard business case in a way happened. I was doing another type of consulting, but a business consultant came in and did a huge expensive study for the client.
I was there at the client when the managers were reading the complete gibberish they were presented with. They couldn’t understand any of it. They searched the Internet for a few things and found the original document. Written for someone else that was searched and replaced on company names and a few key details.
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December 5th, 2007 at 11:42 am
Wow… that’s unethical. This is a great list to check against one’s own behavior; if you’re a consultant and any of it rings true for you, go get a real job.
A guy I knew used to like to say, “A consultant is a guy who takes your watch away from you and then tells you what time it is”.