So recently I did a vanity search and found one of my posts from 1989 here.

Since there’s language involved, I’ve put it below the fold. But presenting:

THE BARTENDER’S GUIDE TO SEX DRINKS

SHOOTERS
——–

BLOW JOB
1/2 shot Kahlua topped with whipped cream

no hands, tilt your head back and swallow

CUM IN A HOT TUB
1/2 shot o.j.
1/2 shot Bailey’s Irish Cream

pour Bailey’s into o.j. for curdling effect

DEEP THROAT
(same as blow job, only in a salt shaker and for women only)
the tongue must be used to break the whipped cream seal

FLAMING BLUE FUCK
1 1/2 oz. Sambuca
1/2 oz. Blue Curaco

set on fire and drink through a straw

ORGASM
1/2 shot mint schnapps
1/2 shot Bailey’s Irish Cream

layer the drink

SIT ON MY FACE
1 shot Bailey’s Irish Cream
1 shot Frangelica
1 shot Kahlua

layer Bailey’s Irish Cream over Frangelica over Kahlua

WRIGLEY’S DOUBLEMINT BLOWJOB
1 shot Kahlua
1/2 shot of peppermint schnapps 100 proof
milk or cream

stir or whip - (must be p.s. 100 proof)

TALL COOL ONES …
—- —- —- —

BETWEEN THE SHEETS
1 oz. brandy
1 oz. triple sec
1 oz. light rum

shake with ice, strain into a cocktail glass

CREAMY BUSH
1 part Bailey’s Irish Cream
1 part Bushmill’s Irish Whiskey

combine in a rock’s glass

DIRTY MOTHER
3 oz. brandy
3 oz. Kahlua

stir in a highball glass

FLAMING ORGASM
1 beer (good one)
1 shot Bacardi 151

pour beer into glass, flame the 151, drop it in the beer and slam…

FUZZY DICK
1 part Kahlua
1 part Gran Marnier
coffee

in coffee cup mix, add whipped cream

GET LAID
1 1/2 oz. vodka
1 oz. rasberry schnapps
pineapple juice
spash of cranberry juice

stir in highball glass

HAIRY VIRGIN
2 parts rum
1 part Triple Sec
2 parts orange/pineapple juice

serve over ice with a cherry
(if no cherry, it is called a HAIRY SLUT)
(if you blend the ice in, it is a FRIGID HAIRY VIRGIN)
(if no cherry and blended, then it is a HAIRY BITCH)

HOT IRISH NUT
1 part Bailey’s Irish Cream
1 part Frangelica
coffee

stir in coffee mug
(1 part Amaretto optional)

KISS IN THE DARK
1 oz. gin
1 oz. cherry brandy
1 oz. dry vermouth

stir with ice, strain into highball glass

ORGASM
2 oz. vodka
2 oz. amaretto
2 oz. Kahlua
2 oz. light cream

shake with ice, strain into highball glass

PAP SMEAR (PABST SMIR)
1 beer
1 shot Smirnoff 100 proof vodka

drop Smirnoff 100 into beer and chug

POP THE CHERRY
2 oz. cherry brandy
o.j.

stir in highball glass, add cherry and orange slice

REARBUSTER
2 oz. tequila
2 oz. Kahlua
cranberry juice

stir in highball glass

SCREAMING ORGASM
bartender’s chair
equal parts - rum
vodka
bourbon

open mouth and lean back, swallow until you can’t swallow any more

SEX ON THE BEACH
1 part Cream de Casis (or Chambord)
1 part Mellon Liquere (or Midori)
1 part Pineapple juice

stir in highball glass
(SEX ON THE BEACH WITH A FRIEND- add 1 part vodka)
(RAPE UNDER THE BOARDWALK- add more alcohol -Allon Stern)

STRAWBERRY STRIPPER
o.j.
1 1/2 oz. strawberry schnapps
1 oz. Triple Sec

pour strawberry schnapps into o.j. and then Triple Sec - do not stir

TIGHT SNATCH
1 1/2 oz. light rum
1 oz. peach schnapps
pineapple juice

stir in highball glass

VIRGIN
1 1/2 oz. gin
1/2 oz. white creme de menthe
1 oz. forbidden fruit

shake with ice, strain into highball glass

THE `SCREW’ DRINKS
— ——- ——

here is how to add things together to get the various `screw’ drinks.

BASIC SCREW
1 part vodka
o.j.

stir in highball glass over ice

FUZZY
add 1 part peach schnapps

SLOW
add 1 part sloe gin

COMFORTABLE
add 1 part Southern Comfort

UP AGAINST THE WALL
add splash of Galliano on top

combine as necessary

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