Things Skippy Can’t Do

1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I’m supposed to be working.3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.

4. Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

7. Not allowed to add In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters.

10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time.

12. Not allowed to join any militia.

13. Not allowed to form any militia.

16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my Samson like powers”.

19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right.

20. Must not taunt the French any more.

21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.

22. Must never call an SAS a Wanker”.

23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.

24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true.

25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.

26. Never tell a German soldier that We kicked your ass in World War 2!”

27. Don’t tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).

29. The Irish MPs are not after Me frosted lucky charms”.

And so on… the whole list is 213 things.  Remember DO NOT DRINK MILK WHILE READING.  You may have to buy a new keyboard if you do.

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