Its all i can stands

around lunchtime on Thursday, the 13th of April 2006 by Chad

And I can’t take it anymore. This is about Angry Guy (AG).

AG sits in a cubicle next to mine. He likes to bring in the paper and read it loudly. Likes to listen to horrible music extremely loudly.
AG thinks EVERYONE except for him is an idiot. How do I know? I hear him mumble it when he hangs up the phone.

AG just went through a nasty divorce. And his wife is a bitch. How do I know? I hear him yell on the phone at her.

AG’s kid is a delinquent. Ran up 2400 text messages in just a week and a half. He dropped out of school. He works in a chinese food restaurant (hopefully not the one near me.) Again, I know this because he covers his personal business on the phone. Loudly.

The wife’s lawyer said this this and that at the divorce proceedings. I know how much he just sold his house for. I know about his girlfriend’s kid back in New Jersey. I know she just kicked her delinquent kid outta the house. I know his girlfriend’s divorce settlement says that if he moves in with her, she loses her alimony. So he’s buying a small condo when he moves to New Jersey to throw off suspicion. I know he’s already scheduled the movers.

I know he has a DNR order. I know he wants to be creamated and sprinkled over Key West. While Jimmy Buffet plays Margaritaville.

What is the worst part: I know he’s getting a vascetomy tomorrow, and he’d like the doctor to whack off a few skin tags while he’s at it. I know in great detail why he’s getting it done. That was the last straw.
FYI: This guy has never said a word to me. He has never acknowledged my presense.

I’m going to have to start eating a lot of fresh tuna at lunch in my cubicle for the next couple weeks until he moves…