AVAST!

mid-morning on Saturday, the 16th of August 2003 by Chad

The 19th of September be the International Talk Like a Pirate Day. And ye will comply, unless you wish to be kicked like the bad little puppies you are! Scoundrels the lot of ya.
If you’re not sure how to talk like a pirate, you can usually get by just by adding a lot more Arrrr’s to your speech. Example:

Pass the ketsup, Arrrrrr!
Arrrrrr, do you have the latest sales reports for the Northeast region? Arrrrrrr!
Arrrrrr, the answer is, the speed of light in a vaccuum.
Hey baby, wanna wrestle? Arrrrrrr!

Even lubbers are wishin’ to be marauders for a day.
To further celebrate your life as a buccaneer, you will need accessories. A mug o’ rum, a cutlass and a black powder pistol. A sash is also a good thing. We don’t even need to cover you having a puffy white shirt, big black hat, and tall black boots.
This mug o’ rum was given to me last night by my favorite busty wench. ‘Tis a good mug. Holds lots of rum. Or beer. Maybe even iced tea. But its from the family’s ancestral home. The pistol is an original Disney Pirates of the Carribean pistol, some twenty years old. But still can knock a parrot off a shoulder when thrown just right. Ahhh, those Pirates of the Carribean, they knew how to pillage and plunder.

This quote from their inner pirate quiz is more accurate than my cannons!

You are The Cap’n!
Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn’t eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones’ locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.
What’s Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!